[ Because it doesn't seem like she's counting her experiences here, too. He's already made it known to her that he considers her important in his life. He was called here and he thinks he's important in hers, too, but maybe she doesn't think so. ]
I don't mean to make it sound like I don't care about what happened. I'm sorry that happened to you, but I don't want you to break the same way I did.
[ She does. She thinks he's very important, and only a week ago she told him she wouldn't leave. It's not a promise she knows how to keep though, since no one seems to know how or why people disappear from this place. Really, they don't even know if they actually go home or if they just go missing or get swallowed up by the earth or god knows what.
She finally turns around to properly look at him. She's tired, exhausted, her eyes are still wet and she just says it simply: ]
I won't break.
[ She can't break. There's no room for her to break. ]
He feels his heart sink some when Emerald asks that. He doesn't know how to answer it, and it's probably something that doesn't need a response. A part of him even wants to leave now as the fear of being left behind hits him again. ]
... we should go back now.
[ If she lets him, he'll take her hand so he can get ready to guide her up Yukimaru. Before anything else though, he hands her the extra coat he brought and gives her his handkerchief. ]
[ She knows that he has to know that it's not a promise she could keep, and she made it anyway which.. for her, that's big. She hates making promises she can't keep, even if she wants to. She knows he can't either, so it's a rare thing to ask to be lied to.
Right now she wants to hear it. He never said he wouldn't leave her, he just made her say it. For the moment, it seems almost like she didn't hear the question about the milk. ]
Mine wasn't a lie- I don't know how to make it happen, but if it's my choice I won't. But it's okay to lie to me if you have to. Right now, I just...
[ She wants to hear it. It has nothing to do with what she thinks is going to happen, what she thinks is possible, what she knows is waiting for her and Mercury. She just wants something to hold onto. ]
[ Akashi says it quickly, as if he didn't even think about it. This has been on his mind for some time now, though. He asked her to stay without even saying he would do the same, but... it should go without saying, shouldn't it?
He's learned his lesson, though. He made impossible promises to Miu, which was why her departure was so painful. Not only did he lose somebody he loves, but he broke a vow. ]
I won't leave. Not willingly.
[ Emerald is important to him. She's. . . He can't even begin to explain it. She's a friend, but he cares for her the same way he does (did?) Miu. He wants to see her happy and make sure she's alright. When she's sad like this, he's sad too. A little angry, but the anger is directed at the cause of what made her upset in the first place. ]
[ Those are perhaps three words she never says to anyone. She stays quiet for a few more moments, then steps a little closer. She's never had anyone say that they would stay just for her. Even Cinder it was always a contingency. She had to work to be kept, not just.. promise to stay. Emerald doesn't know how she feels about Akashi at all; it's confusing and new and terrifying because while she believes him, trusting the world itself is harder. The world always screws her over, one way or the other. ]
I want milk.
[ It's almost like a weird concession that she'll let him take care of her, rather than anything to actually do with the literal milk that will undoubtedly be involved. ]
[ Asking if she wanted milk was just his way of asking if she wanted him to take care of her for now. He's not sure if he can let Emerald sleep in his room the same way she did when Miu disappeared though. He's sure to get an earful from Midorima... Mayuzumi and Kuroko. . . He's not sure what they would say. He'll figure out what Emerald wants later on. ]
Come on, then. I'll put some vanilla extract in it.
[ She probably won't stay the night. She has her own place, and she's not even sure what she would say to Mercury. Emerald's explanation of him has already gotten Mercury to use the phrase "boy toy" and she doesn't want Akashi to have to deal with any of that. ]
[ It's one of many reasons she has no intention of staying at his place tonight, even if she's comfortable with him staying at hers. ]
I know you won't, I'm riding behind you.
[ She probably won't argue much if he says otherwise since she knows nothing about riding a horse, but she's already held him before on the wyvern! It's normal. Akashi is the little spoon. ]
[ She's just going to stare at this horse for a second before moving over to follow Akashi. That better be enough of a greeting, she knows jack shit about horses. ]
[ Emerald wraps her arms around Akashi once she's up, sticking close though keeping her arms down at his waist since she isn't having to support him this time. ]
I'm not really hungry, but I should eat.
[ It's her appetite and Emerald knows the importance of making sure you eat regularly, even if she doesn't feel like it. ]
[ He looks down at his waist, and before commanding Yukimaru to move, he places a hand over Emerald's for a split second just to see if she's really holding onto him. He needs to make sure. ]
We have bread.
[ Sadly, that's all he can offer unless she wants to eat his cooking. ]
You don't have to eat an entire piece. Even just a few bites will do you good.
[ This was good, Akashi thinks. He feels lighter now that Emerald's contacted him. It's eased some of his worries and it's distracted him from being sad that Miu's gone. It's. . . nice. He hasn't felt like himself these past few days, and being able to go out and take care of somebody has helped him.
These are thoughts he doesn't vocalise, though. In fact, with his back facing Emerald as they head to where Akashi lives, it's a bit difficult to tell what he's feeling and what he's thinking. He stays quiet in case Emerald doesn't really want to talk. He's not sure what there is to talk about right now, either. They're both sad. ]
[ Emerald doesn't necessarily not want to talk, but her mind isn't on anything that Akashi wants to hear about. She doesn't know what to say, but he came and got her even when she just wanted to let him know she was okay. He's here for her, and that's important. That's a lot.
He'll probably feel one of her arms moving off of his stomach though. She's never been on a horse properly, she's gonna reach back and try to pet him. She's strong enough that she can hold onto Akashi with one arm if something happens, at least long enough to get her other one back around him. She'd rather do something than sit here and go deeper into her thoughts though, even if she doesn't know what to say. ]
[ But she lets out a little laugh at that. It's not exactly mirthful, but it's there. ]
He said that you weren't the worst and he wouldn't do anything to you since I like you. Chihiro and Tetsuya, too. I think it freaked him out that I liked anyone so he didn't know what to do.
[ Even if she sounds down, if he's the one who gave her this news, she doesn't sound upset that he's here.
..He also definitely implied if Akashi hurt her he'd hurt Akashi but you know, she'll leave that bit out. ]
[ Ah, so that's why Emerald was so surprised when Akashi asked if Mercury hurt her. If they don't keep anything from each other, then they're probably very tight. ]
I see.
I'm glad we're friends.
[ That's what he was driving at when he brought up that she likes him. He can say it now, too. ]
[ She turns back around the rest of the way and rests her forehead against the back of his spine. ]
He wasn't too bad was he? He just came fresh off of Cinder-- of the battle Cinder died in, our side losing... If he was there, I was there too so he's probably exhausted hauling me off if we needed to escape and in a bad mood.
[ She knows if they get cornered it's her job to get them out of there. She doesn't have any of the details of what happened, or even who else was with them, but Cinder was the only one he told her died. But regardless, she's really hoping Akashi hasn't decided to write him off. She doesn't expect them to get along but it'd be nice if they weren't actively trying to pick a fight with each other, so she wants to know what to expect. ]
I just want you to know you're not alone, that's all.
[ She doesn't just have Mercury! ]
He's nothing I can't handle. [ At that time, anyway. He's not sure how it will be once Mercury's. . . feeling better and more oriented with the place. ]
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[ Because it doesn't seem like she's counting her experiences here, too. He's already made it known to her that he considers her important in his life. He was called here and he thinks he's important in hers, too, but maybe she doesn't think so. ]
I don't mean to make it sound like I don't care about what happened. I'm sorry that happened to you, but I don't want you to break the same way I did.
[ He wouldn't wish it on anybody. ]
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[ She does. She thinks he's very important, and only a week ago she told him she wouldn't leave. It's not a promise she knows how to keep though, since no one seems to know how or why people disappear from this place. Really, they don't even know if they actually go home or if they just go missing or get swallowed up by the earth or god knows what.
She finally turns around to properly look at him. She's tired, exhausted, her eyes are still wet and she just says it simply: ]
I won't break.
[ She can't break. There's no room for her to break. ]
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He feels his heart sink some when Emerald asks that. He doesn't know how to answer it, and it's probably something that doesn't need a response. A part of him even wants to leave now as the fear of being left behind hits him again. ]
... we should go back now.
[ If she lets him, he'll take her hand so he can get ready to guide her up Yukimaru. Before anything else though, he hands her the extra coat he brought and gives her his handkerchief. ]
Would you like some milk?
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[ She knows that he has to know that it's not a promise she could keep, and she made it anyway which.. for her, that's big. She hates making promises she can't keep, even if she wants to. She knows he can't either, so it's a rare thing to ask to be lied to.
Right now she wants to hear it. He never said he wouldn't leave her, he just made her say it. For the moment, it seems almost like she didn't hear the question about the milk. ]
Mine wasn't a lie- I don't know how to make it happen, but if it's my choice I won't. But it's okay to lie to me if you have to. Right now, I just...
[ She wants to hear it. It has nothing to do with what she thinks is going to happen, what she thinks is possible, what she knows is waiting for her and Mercury. She just wants something to hold onto. ]
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[ Akashi says it quickly, as if he didn't even think about it. This has been on his mind for some time now, though. He asked her to stay without even saying he would do the same, but... it should go without saying, shouldn't it?
He's learned his lesson, though. He made impossible promises to Miu, which was why her departure was so painful. Not only did he lose somebody he loves, but he broke a vow. ]
I won't leave. Not willingly.
[ Emerald is important to him. She's. . . He can't even begin to explain it. She's a friend, but he cares for her the same way he does (did?) Miu. He wants to see her happy and make sure she's alright. When she's sad like this, he's sad too. A little angry, but the anger is directed at the cause of what made her upset in the first place. ]
Will you trust me on this?
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[ Those are perhaps three words she never says to anyone. She stays quiet for a few more moments, then steps a little closer. She's never had anyone say that they would stay just for her. Even Cinder it was always a contingency. She had to work to be kept, not just.. promise to stay. Emerald doesn't know how she feels about Akashi at all; it's confusing and new and terrifying because while she believes him, trusting the world itself is harder. The world always screws her over, one way or the other. ]
I want milk.
[ It's almost like a weird concession that she'll let him take care of her, rather than anything to actually do with the literal milk that will undoubtedly be involved. ]
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Come on, then. I'll put some vanilla extract in it.
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Are you going to ride me back on your horse?
[ That is so weird to her. ]
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Yes. Don't worry, I won't let you fall.
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I know you won't, I'm riding behind you.
[ She probably won't argue much if he says otherwise since she knows nothing about riding a horse, but she's already held him before on the wyvern! It's normal.
Akashi is the little spoon.]no subject
His name is Yukimaru. He's as old as I am.
[ Akashi's first friend! ]
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[ She's just going to stare at this horse for a second before moving over to follow Akashi. That better be enough of a greeting, she knows jack shit about horses. ]
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Do you also want something to eat?
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I'm not really hungry, but I should eat.
[ It's her appetite and Emerald knows the importance of making sure you eat regularly, even if she doesn't feel like it. ]
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We have bread.
[ Sadly, that's all he can offer unless she wants to eat his cooking. ]
You don't have to eat an entire piece. Even just a few bites will do you good.
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Bread's fine.
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These are thoughts he doesn't vocalise, though. In fact, with his back facing Emerald as they head to where Akashi lives, it's a bit difficult to tell what he's feeling and what he's thinking. He stays quiet in case Emerald doesn't really want to talk. He's not sure what there is to talk about right now, either. They're both sad. ]
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He'll probably feel one of her arms moving off of his stomach though. She's never been on a horse properly, she's gonna reach back and try to pet him. She's strong enough that she can hold onto Akashi with one arm if something happens, at least long enough to get her other one back around him. She'd rather do something than sit here and go deeper into her thoughts though, even if she doesn't know what to say. ]
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[ But then, it didn't occur to him that he was the Mercury Emerald had mentioned before. ]
He's quite a personality.
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[ But she lets out a little laugh at that. It's not exactly mirthful, but it's there. ]
He said that you weren't the worst and he wouldn't do anything to you since I like you. Chihiro and Tetsuya, too. I think it freaked him out that I liked anyone so he didn't know what to do.
[ Even if she sounds down, if he's the one who gave her this news, she doesn't sound upset that he's here.
..He also definitely implied if Akashi hurt her he'd hurt Akashi but you know, she'll leave that bit out. ]
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You didn't even want to call me your friend before, but now you're telling people you like me.
[ How far they've come!! ]
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[ Obviously, as if that explains anything. ]
We don't keep secrets from each other.
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I see.
I'm glad we're friends.
[ That's what he was driving at when he brought up that she likes him. He can say it now, too. ]
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[ She turns back around the rest of the way and rests her forehead against the back of his spine. ]
He wasn't too bad was he? He just came fresh off of Cinder-- of the battle Cinder died in, our side losing... If he was there, I was there too so he's probably exhausted hauling me off if we needed to escape and in a bad mood.
[ She knows if they get cornered it's her job to get them out of there. She doesn't have any of the details of what happened, or even who else was with them, but Cinder was the only one he told her died. But regardless, she's really hoping Akashi hasn't decided to write him off. She doesn't expect them to get along but it'd be nice if they weren't actively trying to pick a fight with each other, so she wants to know what to expect. ]
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I just want you to know you're not alone, that's all.
[ She doesn't just have Mercury! ]
He's nothing I can't handle. [ At that time, anyway. He's not sure how it will be once Mercury's. . . feeling better and more oriented with the place. ]
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I lost the notif for this :(
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