glorifies: (akashi031)
赤司 征十郎 | SEIJURO AKASHI ([personal profile] glorifies) wrote2017-12-23 11:43 am

♚ inbox.


chickens
unhappy: (Time to talk shit let's go.)

[personal profile] unhappy 2019-02-12 07:23 am (UTC)(link)
[ She turns around without argument and heads back to his bedroom. ]

Afraid one of your friends are going to see me wearing your clothes?

[ Such scandal. Her teasing doesn't quite have the teasing tone she normally does it with though. It's lackluster at best. She heads straight over to sit on his bed once they're in his room and she reaches up to undo her twin tails. ]
unhappy: (Do you want to know a secret?)

[personal profile] unhappy 2019-02-12 07:45 am (UTC)(link)
[ Emerald notices the difference immediately. When he was back at the apartment, he had deadbolts and multiple locks. Even with Emerald on his couch, he was clearly unable to feel safe.

Maybe moving away from her was better for him. Another thing to try not to focus too hard on. She needs to just be glad he's feeling better, not upset that she wasn't enough to make him feel safe. She knows she had nothing to do with it.

Once he's settled in, she shows him a simple memory: it's just her in some bathroom looking in the mirror with a handful of cheap paper towels, trying to scrub at her face with dispenser hand soap to clean up. She's skinny- not just thin, skinny. There's no definition in her muscles, her shoulders are up like a cat with all it's fur raised, and her hair is long and pulled back. Her clothes are a different but similar outfit, simpler, a couple of tears but at least in tact. There's a sense of urgency attached to the memory, but more than that there's hunger. Aching, consuming, desperate hunger like a black hole in the pit of he stomach that makes her head foggy and weirdly nauseous at the same time. There's so much fear and desperation that just feels like background noise to that, and unbearable exhaustion, as if she hadn't slept for more than an hour at a time in over a week. The memory ends with some banging on the door and a voice shouting that the bathroom was for customers only. ]
unhappy: (Cinder is mad <:()

[personal profile] unhappy 2019-02-12 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
I know in my head that I can do it. I know in my head that things are different, even here from Remnant.

[ Akashi helps with that. A lot. Despite that she lost a lot just learning Cinder was gone. ] I don't know how else to show you, but I need you to understand because if you don't then eventually when I can't just stop being scared of that, it's going to make you think it's not worth it. That's even scarier, and then I get stuck in a room because I can't see the floor or anything in it to get out. I can know in my head that won't happen, but..

[ She trails off for a moment, moving to sit next to him on the bed and looking honestly kind of antsy, worried. ]

It's not that you can't help or that I'm ignoring you or I don't believe when you say stuff like that. It's something inside me that I can't stop because of that. Because that's most of my life. Does that make sense?

[ No one ever wants to actually deal with her shit. So she wants him to just understand that she has a lot of it, that it's not just normal feelings of anxiety, it's something deep in her core that he can tell her she's being stupid about a thousand times, but believing it and feeling it are different. ]
unhappy: (You just made me lose this level.)

[personal profile] unhappy 2019-02-13 03:20 am (UTC)(link)
[ Emerald doesn't pull away from his hand on her head. It's weird, but she gets the intent. His hand is warm and he means to comfort her. She doesn't pull away for some time.

Emerald doesn't know whether she's a villain or not. She's done bad things. She'll joke about being a bad guy, but ultimately it isn't as if she's actively seeking to do these bad things. They're payment for being saved. Nothing comes without a cost, and this was the only price anyone was willing to offer her. Cinder is the one person who offered it, and she gave Emerald more than that. Food and clean water and shelter were what she agreed to, yes. Someone looking out for her, someone who cared whether she was there or not, someone who would teach her things and would protect her. Someone who cared about her, offered a family to her. That's what Cinder was to her.

Which is probably why Akashi confuses her so much, because he offers something similar but with no price. It doesn't make sense to her, because nothing comes without a price. She just seems to take and take from him and she doesn't know what it is she gives back, so she's decided she'll protect him and his friends at any cost. That's the best she can do, isn't it?

Emerald doesn't know if those words are empty or real. She's inclined to believe him- Akashi doesn't lie. She just doesn't know how he can promise something like that. She supposes it goes with their promises not to leave each other behind here. Promises they intend to keep but ultimately can't say how. ]


I want you to be right.

[ She leans back slowly at first then flops down on the bed all at once, pulling away from his hand atop her head only because of the intentional fall. ]

Why are you so nice to me?
unhappy: (Partners.)

[personal profile] unhappy 2019-02-14 12:02 am (UTC)(link)
I guess everyone's different with stuff like that.

[ Mercury and her relationship is certainly different, and so is hers and Cinder's. This inconsistency is hard to keep up with.

Emerald turns her head to glance at him, considering quietly for a moment.

She doesn't dislike it. ]


I'm tired.
unhappy: (His leg is broken not his ego.)

[personal profile] unhappy 2019-02-16 02:38 am (UTC)(link)
I will, but don't you owe me a story?

[ She does start at least moving to properly get into the bed instead of half-assed laying from where she was sitting. She doesn't really need a story, but something to distract her so she can think about anything else will help her rest. ]
unhappy: (Do not have ears.)

[personal profile] unhappy 2019-02-16 04:05 am (UTC)(link)
[ She turns on her side, facing him for now with her head on the pillow staring at his side. She'll turn her back to him when she actually goes to sleep but for now, she's paying attention and comfortable. ]

Ready when you are.
unhappy: (Cinder is mad <:()

[personal profile] unhappy 2019-02-16 06:04 am (UTC)(link)
[ She at least seems invested in it so far. Though she does seem a little uncomfortable. She grimaces slightly, tense at a particular phrase used toward her. She waits until he makes it clear she's welcome to comment. ]

Don't use "street rat." I-- that's one I get a lot.

[ She knows he wasn't calling her that, but the reason he picked the story is already obvious. ]
unhappy: (#doubt)

[personal profile] unhappy 2019-02-17 08:50 am (UTC)(link)
[ Even if it wasn't directed at her, it's something that's been used to insult her too many times for her to want to hear it in Akashi's voice. She doesn't want to have known what those words sound like coming from him. Oh well. At least she doesn't have to hear it again.

As she continues listening to his story, she becomes a little more incredulous. Say what you will about her story, but nobody turned into a giant snake in it or tried to make out with their enemy, nor was there a genie who just makes your wishes come true with no cost whatsoever. (Jafar was a bag of dicks before the genie was even involved in this story, so dealing with him isn't a cost.)

But she does get a few things out of it. Mostly about Jafar, rather than Aladdin. Aladdin started off being the character she'd thought was supposed to capture her attention-- street rat, secretly good-hearted but did bad things. But Aladdin was deluded. His wish was to become a prince to woo someone who wouldn't give him the time of day otherwise, not to get off of the streets and not have to worry about whether or not he'd survive. He had enough food that sharing it with a monkey and some kids was an option. He trusted someone he'd just met to have a way out, sure, but he'd been deceived. Emerald hadn't- Emerald had been given everything that she'd been promised, as far as she was concerned. (Or perhaps there were similarities Emerald didn't want to see.)

Jafar wasn't a character Emerald related to either, but there were observations she's made that rang true. Some that dug deep: the more power someone has, the less free they seem to be from the source of it. The more power someone has, the more they thirst for far more than they need, the less human they become. She's seen that first hand. Salem in the more advanced form, and Cinder before her eyes.

She has a lot of questions though. ]


Why would Jafar turn into a giant snake? The whole advantage of snakes is that they're small, poisonous, and you don't see them coming. Why would he wish to become a genie if there's no rule against wishing to become a god? [ A brief pause ] Why does becoming a genie automatically result in servitude if the first genie still retains his powers after he's freed? Obviously he's still a genie since he has powers after not being bound to the lamp anymore. If Jafar can hypnotize people, why doesn't he just hypnotize his first master to wish him free and go back and kill Jasmine and Aladdin with his new powers? Beyond that, how is there not a huge war over an artifact like that if something like that exists?
unhappy: (No matter what Mercury says)

[personal profile] unhappy 2019-02-18 04:49 am (UTC)(link)
I always do.

[ She lets out a little puff of laughter, but her eyelids are half-closed even as she does. ]

Are you going to stay here?
unhappy: (but you know i'm cool.)

[personal profile] unhappy 2019-02-18 06:50 am (UTC)(link)
What if I stay up all night?

[ Even as she says that teasingly, she's half-yawning as she does. ]
unhappy: (You can't tell me who I can't text.)

[personal profile] unhappy 2019-02-18 08:21 am (UTC)(link)
You're the boss.

[ She doesn't know if her story or his story was weirder, but at least she got tired thinking about it. It's warm and dim and she's distracted enough not to at least immediately be thinking about her loss.

She's at least going to close her eyes and try. ]


Good night.