Yeaaaaah... I don't think his promise to me not hurt you unless you hurt me first is going to last through you making him kneel, so I'd hold off on that and just call me over if he's being a pain.
[ That's not exactly what he said, but the implication that Emerald would stop liking Akashi for any reason would require Akashi to hurt her a lot to get her to tell Mercury it was okay. If A is B and B is C, then A must be C. ]
[ Because Mercury doesn't have to be standing up to shoot him in the face. X( ]
I want you to be aware of him and recognize that the best solution isn't you handling him on your own. Besides, his negative emotional reactions suck just as much as yours do- you pull that at the same time and you'll end up killing whoever's around you before each other.
[ ... that's it. That's all the acknowledgement Akashi gives.
He's fine with trusting Emerald and relying on her on some things. He's learned his lesson when they went to Shaarnath and had to deal with the rebels, but he's not going to play nice because someone told him to when the other person isn't returning the favour. ]
If he doesn't hurt me, [ Or annoy him, really... ] then we won't have a problem.
[ She's not unaware that at no point has he agreed to call Emerald if something happens. He's still refusing her help, even in a situation that would in no way put her in danger of crossing any lines.
Though unlike Akashi's solutions to do what he pleases and exert his authority as needed, Emerald makes a mental note to just be careful about upsetting him. If her off-handed comment didn't phase him, she perhaps mistakenly assumes that means he knows he's hurt her and he doesn't care instead of just not realizing it as she'd previously thought. It adds up with his behavior of late, making sure that anyone who crosses him isn't able to. It also adds up with how people who like Emerald treat her when she doesn't behave, so this isn't something she feels the need to address. The fact that he's nearly suffocated her twice being something he's aware of and hasn't felt the need to address in the past or when she's brought it up is something she just accepts and doesn't at all deter her from her response: ]
[ Emerald is going to eventually leave him if she had to choose between him and Mercury, anyway. Akashi is no Cinder, but Mercury is the closest person she has to Cinder. He and Emerald are friends. Mercury and Emerald are... whatever they are - allies, colleagues, co-slaves—all Akashi knows and believes is that her relationship with this person is far more important than what the two of them have. Akashi finds that he hates that - that Emerald is going to leave him behind eventually and he knows what the cause of that will be.
He should listen to her for his own safety, but Akashi is angry and broken. Were he in the proper state of mind, he would have responded differently. He isn't.
Eventually, they reach the house in the woods. There isn't much changes to the exterior compared to the housewarming party. The windows once had cracks in them, but Akashi's since fixed it.
Akashi gets off Yukimaru once they're inside the stable and helps Emerald down before leading the way inside. ]
[ It's a good thing he helps her down because her heel got stuck on the stirrup. If he wasn't helping she probably would've ended up flat on her face. She brushes off the back side of her pants once she's down and gives Yukimaru two pats above his stifle as a thanks for the ride, then follows Akashi. ]
Just the bread is okay, I'm not really hungry.
[ In fact, she's heading for the couch once they're in if he doesn't direct her otherwise. ]
[ Emerald can chill on the couch, no big deal. Akashi would have suggested she stay there, anyway. It's comfortable on the couch!
Meanwhile, he heads to the kitchen to the warm some milk and heat some bread. He's not sure if she wants something with the bread, but he slices some cheese and puts honey in a small bowl to serve.
He's out in less than five minutes, and he sets everything on the coffee table by the couch. ]
[ By the time he's out, Emerald has gathered up every throw pillow she could find and put them against her and one in her lap. She'll give one back to Akashi if he wants it. ]
It sounds sticky.
[ But he said to try it so she's going to try it. She makes a face though. Fancy cheeses aren't really her thing. She likes the honey anyway........ ]
He sits back down, sinking in the couch a little. His eyes aren't on her, but on the table instead. He isn't really sure what else he can do to make her feel better. He's not good at these kinds of things, and the last time somebody told him bad news, something else happened afterwards to comfort that person and he's pretty sure fingering Emerald and making her see stars isn't the best way. :s Not that he is thinking it in the first place. That's just his only experience of comforting somebody who's lost family. ]
[ Yeah that might not be the best approach. Emerald mostly just wants him to stay instead of leaving over and over to try to get her things she doesn't want. She doesn't really let go of his wrist even after he sits down, just holding it but barely touching as if she isn't sure if this is okay, and staying quiet. ]
[ Akashi doesn't mind. He actually looks down at where her hand is. If she wants him to stay, then he will.
He twists his arm a bit and tries to wiggle out of her grip so he can reach for her hand, cupping it with his own. They aren't lovers or anything, so he doesn't entwine their fingers together, but he holds her hand tightly. ]
[ It's fine. That's all she wants. Emerald doesn't really think touching someone's hand means much, but she's found on the rare occasion it isn't an excuse to get close to someone, to establish contact so they don't focus too hard on anything else, so they look at her and not her movements-- she's found that it's comforting. The same way it was with Mayuzumi, though that hadn't been an attempt to seek comfort. It just had been, in a way she hadn't expected it. Right now, she's reaching out. She needs it, rather than finds it incidentally.
After a few moments of silence, not really touching the bread, she does at least try to make an effort. She needs to move on- that's what everyone's telling her, even though she just learned this. So she'll make an effort. She'll push it down, and try to act how everyone else wants her to. She doesn't smile, but she does at least try to take a jab at him. ]
[ He seems so oblivious she actually genuinely believes that he has no idea what she's talking about. She almost looks exasperated. ]
Poor Chihiro.
[ Akashi so casually ruins his life that he doesn't even remember what he did.. She's not even going to explain beyond that and just lean sideways against the back of the couch, peering at Akashi with her face pressed against the back pillows. ]
Nothing.. he was just saying how his underclassman doesn't treat him like a real senpai, since he does things like off-handedly mention his weird basement-dweller kinks to girls and then forgets about it. I can see what he means now. You're even calling him by his first name instead of senpai, that's like the opposite of senpai status..
[ She shakes her head, pity in her eyes. It's genuine, but only for the part that Akashi forgot about. The best liars tell the truth and all that. Though in this case it's not really a lie so much as exaggeration of observed facts to distract her from her own problems. ]
He would think it's weird and would demand that I call him by what I usually call him.
[ He knows Mayuzumi... That's what he'll tell Akashi.
Speaking of hands, though, when Emerald mentions it, he glances at theirs. He isn't the Akashi Emerald's gotten to know, but they're still friends. Long ago, he would keep friends at an arm's length. He'd never let anybody in. His friends were also his pawns, so to speak. Now that he knows better, though, he won't treat anybody like they're disposable.
At least, those whom he likes to keep in his life, anyway. ]
Is it a bad kind of different?
[ She hasn't exactly punched him in the face for it, but... who knows what she's thinking right now. ]
Are you going to think I'm mean if I say that would cheer me up a little?
[ It wouldn't do much but she does appreciate teasing Mayuzumi. And Akashi. And Kuroko, though he's way harder to get than the other two. ]
We could both call him Chihiro-senpai all day. Tetsuya should too.
[ She holds his hand still, turning her back partially to him but only so she can lean against him instead. Slowly, hesitantly, cautious for any physical signs of a wall going up because of it- the second he reacts negatively she'll pull back and give him space. It's fine if he shoves her away. She doesn't know what the distance is here. What is physical affection between friends even. ] Obviously it's bad. No one likes actually needing comfort. Your part in it isn't bad, though.
[ One of the people she values most is dead. That's a bad kind of different. That's not Akashi's fault though. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ That's not exactly what he said, but the implication that Emerald would stop liking Akashi for any reason would require Akashi to hurt her a lot to get her to tell Mercury it was okay. If A is B and B is C, then A must be C. ]
no subject
It almost sounds like you want me to be afraid of him.
[ But for Emerald's sake, he doesn't say anything else, opting to move on. ]
We're near.
no subject
I want you to be aware of him and recognize that the best solution isn't you handling him on your own. Besides, his negative emotional reactions suck just as much as yours do- you pull that at the same time and you'll end up killing whoever's around you before each other.
no subject
[ ... that's it. That's all the acknowledgement Akashi gives.
He's fine with trusting Emerald and relying on her on some things. He's learned his lesson when they went to Shaarnath and had to deal with the rebels, but he's not going to play nice because someone told him to when the other person isn't returning the favour. ]
If he doesn't hurt me, [ Or annoy him, really... ] then we won't have a problem.
no subject
Though unlike Akashi's solutions to do what he pleases and exert his authority as needed, Emerald makes a mental note to just be careful about upsetting him. If her off-handed comment didn't phase him, she perhaps mistakenly assumes that means he knows he's hurt her and he doesn't care instead of just not realizing it as she'd previously thought. It adds up with his behavior of late, making sure that anyone who crosses him isn't able to. It also adds up with how people who like Emerald treat her when she doesn't behave, so this isn't something she feels the need to address. The fact that he's nearly suffocated her twice being something he's aware of and hasn't felt the need to address in the past or when she's brought it up is something she just accepts and doesn't at all deter her from her response: ]
I trust you, then.
no subject
He should listen to her for his own safety, but Akashi is angry and broken. Were he in the proper state of mind, he would have responded differently. He isn't.
Eventually, they reach the house in the woods. There isn't much changes to the exterior compared to the housewarming party. The windows once had cracks in them, but Akashi's since fixed it.
Akashi gets off Yukimaru once they're inside the stable and helps Emerald down before leading the way inside. ]
I'll prepare a small meal.
no subject
Just the bread is okay, I'm not really hungry.
[ In fact, she's heading for the couch once they're in if he doesn't direct her otherwise. ]
no subject
Meanwhile, he heads to the kitchen to the warm some milk and heat some bread. He's not sure if she wants something with the bread, but he slices some cheese and puts honey in a small bowl to serve.
He's out in less than five minutes, and he sets everything on the coffee table by the couch. ]
Honey with cheese is good. Try it.
no subject
It sounds sticky.
[ But he said to try it so she's going to try it. She makes a face though. Fancy cheeses aren't really her thing. She likes the honey anyway........ ]
no subject
[ That's what it seems to him. ]
no subject
[ She's just going to nibble the end of the bread now. ]
no subject
[ He gets up to go get those, then! ]
no subject
Hey. The bread's fine. The honey's good too.
no subject
He sits back down, sinking in the couch a little. His eyes aren't on her, but on the table instead. He isn't really sure what else he can do to make her feel better. He's not good at these kinds of things, and the last time somebody told him bad news, something else happened afterwards to comfort that person and he's pretty sure fingering Emerald and making her see stars isn't the best way. :s Not that he is thinking it in the first place. That's just his only experience of comforting somebody who's lost family. ]
no subject
Just stay.
no subject
He twists his arm a bit and tries to wiggle out of her grip so he can reach for her hand, cupping it with his own. They aren't lovers or anything, so he doesn't entwine their fingers together, but he holds her hand tightly. ]
no subject
After a few moments of silence, not really touching the bread, she does at least try to make an effort. She needs to move on- that's what everyone's telling her, even though she just learned this. So she'll make an effort. She'll push it down, and try to act how everyone else wants her to. She doesn't smile, but she does at least try to take a jab at him. ]
I don't have to play dress up for you now, do I?
no subject
Dress up?
[ If this is about what he told her at the housewarming party, he's completely forgotten it. :') ]
no subject
Poor Chihiro.
[ Akashi so casually ruins his life that he doesn't even remember what he did.. She's not even going to explain beyond that and just lean sideways against the back of the couch, peering at Akashi with her face pressed against the back pillows. ]
no subject
What are you talking about? What happened to Chihiro?
[ Chihiro now, instead of Mayuzumi-san. ]
no subject
[ She shakes her head, pity in her eyes. It's genuine, but only for the part that Akashi forgot about. The best liars tell the truth and all that. Though in this case it's not really a lie so much as exaggeration of observed facts to distract her from her own problems. ]
no subject
[ But he thinks he gets what she means, now. ]
I did think that the two of you like each other, though.
no subject
[ She shrugs and looks down at their hands again. ] I didn't actually lose you, so it's a little different.
no subject
[ He knows Mayuzumi... That's what he'll tell Akashi.
Speaking of hands, though, when Emerald mentions it, he glances at theirs. He isn't the Akashi Emerald's gotten to know, but they're still friends. Long ago, he would keep friends at an arm's length. He'd never let anybody in. His friends were also his pawns, so to speak. Now that he knows better, though, he won't treat anybody like they're disposable.
At least, those whom he likes to keep in his life, anyway. ]
Is it a bad kind of different?
[ She hasn't exactly punched him in the face for it, but... who knows what she's thinking right now. ]
no subject
[ It wouldn't do much but she does appreciate teasing Mayuzumi. And Akashi. And Kuroko, though he's way harder to get than the other two. ]
We could both call him Chihiro-senpai all day. Tetsuya should too.
[ She holds his hand still, turning her back partially to him but only so she can lean against him instead. Slowly, hesitantly, cautious for any physical signs of a wall going up because of it- the second he reacts negatively she'll pull back and give him space. It's fine if he shoves her away. She doesn't know what the distance is here. What is physical affection between friends even. ] Obviously it's bad. No one likes actually needing comfort. Your part in it isn't bad, though.
[ One of the people she values most is dead. That's a bad kind of different. That's not Akashi's fault though. ]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
I lost the notif for this :(
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)