[ Words like that are music to Akashi's ears. If he could throw a celebration for himself upon hearing that, he would. He doesn't like to be left behind—that's his greatest fear, even beyond loss.
If you leave too, I should just die. The words aren't spoken aloud, but Akashi thinks it. He might still have basketball and he might still have his best friends, but what's the point of living when you lose all the people you love? This is just another instance in which Akashi tells himself he needs to figure out how to bind souls together.
He's in a new world now. Maybe there really is a way. ]
Do you still want to watch the play?
[ Akashi would be fine with it, but when he looks up at Mayuzumi to meet his eyes, all he wants to do is just stay here or be anywhere else just as long as they're together. ]
[ The look in Akashi's eyes tells Mayuzumi all he needs to know. ]
I think I'd have a hard time focusing on it right now.
[ And he's become conscious of the fact that they're getting pretty cozy in public right now. People might not notice him, but Akashi's definitely the kind of guy to stand out and Mayuzumi would rather not have strangers witnessing more of this vulnerable moment they're sharing. ]
...My apartment's not that far.
[ At least it's somewhere more private for them to continue this as well as wait out the magic that's keeping their hands clasped together.
...And if Akashi decides he wants to stay the night once this spell wears off, Mayuzumi doesn't have it in him to object. ]
[ A part of him feels relieved that Mayuzumi feels the same way. It's a little difficult to think about anything else right now. His heart is beating so fast but somehow, it all feels okay.
Everything is going to be okay. ]
Perhaps we can buy something to eat along the way. [ He looks at their joined hands and brings them up just a little to point out what he means. ] We have some coin, and we'll need some sustenance.
[ He's glad Akashi didn't suggest they dine in somewhere, but he can't disagree that getting a meal in would still be a good idea. He's also grateful that it maybe ratchets the tension down between them for the moment since it'll take a little time to get back to his apartment.
...Once they're alone, though... ]
There's a yakitori place near my building we can pick something up at that isn't bad, if you like. It's pretty cheap, too.
[ He glances off to the side. ]
I mean, it's probably no surprise I've been kind of broke here on my own, but I think that's...maybe not going to be as big of a problem anymore.
[ He's not the kind of guy who's particularly comfortable touching random strangers, after all. He's scraped by thanks to a part-time job, but demichroma just doesn't rate well in comparison. Even if their relationship didn't just take a more intimate turn having Akashi here would probably still be a big help for him in this department. ]
[ Ah, that doesn't sound so bad. It's not the kind of food that's served in the streets either, so it should be clean. Being in a new world, Akashi worries about the kind of food being served, but yakitori is familiar. It should be okay. ]
I have some Chroma. From today and the other day.
[ He's been holding people's hands and being princess carried. He's been surviving. ]
[ Right now Mayuzumi isn't going to argue; the reality of his finances kind of don't allow for it, even if they've generated a bit of chroma just now. ]
...I'll treat you next time, then. Come on.
[ The walk isn't particularly long once they've made it out of the area hosting the Amegahara contingent, down streets lined with shops and apartments and small parks, everywhere lush with greenery. The yakitori restaurant is humble, a comfortable and lively little hole-in-the-wall, suited more for unwinding with a beer after a busy day at work than a romantic eating spot; but the smell of what's inside the bag of takeout the two of them emerge with is absolutely delicious.
There's still a number of things Mayuzumi wants to ask Akashi about, but one thing comes to mind when he glances up at the already-rising, waning Cordis moon. ]
By the way, I was wondering. I don't know all the details about this moonblessing stuff the locals talked about when I got here, but I've heard weird things can happen when a moon's full. Have you noticed anything...different these past couple of days?
[ Akashi shakes his head in response. He's a very conscious person of his surroundings. Akashi's the type to not let anything pass him. Every detail gets observed, even internal things. He thinks too much. In some cases, it's a good thing. In some cases, it's not.
The trait seems to be a boon at this specific moment, though. ]
Not with me, no. I've learned that it's currently the Cordis cycle, but I've not been affected by anything. My libido is the same, and I don't have any animal ears or a tail or fur. [ He really has thought of this, because he says everything without missing a beat. ] I don't feel playful, nor am I hungry all the time.
[ But he throws the question right back at Mayuzumi. . . ]
What of you? I've heard that Moonblessings don't manifest right away, or that they manifest in different ways every month. It's possible that Cordis may be our Moonblessing, but the traits that come with the alignment may not be present now.
[ ...Not something he can attribute to the moon's influence, at least. Even if he's keeping it contained, there's a desire still simmering quietly beneath the surface that only Akashi's to blame for thanks to that earlier confession, an urge to be closer than just holding hands like they are right now. If Akashi had turned his face up at just the right moment before, Mayuzumi would've...
But Akashi didn't, and for now they're making their way down a public sidewalk with their dinner. Speculating about what sort of moonblessing Akashi might have both is and isn't a distraction from those kind of thoughts. ]
I guess we'll have to wait and see to find out what we are. Maybe we'll be the same or different, who knows. I just hope I don't end up with one that's a pain to deal with, though.
[ It'd be great if the worst he has to endure is getting a little extra hungry a few days a month, but things almost never work out that nicely for him... ]
[ Because he definitely believes that whatever his Moonblessing might be? It's Sanguis. While he doesn't consider himself a fish, a wolf, or a snake, he certainly thinks of himself an alpha type. He's a leader, after all. It wouldn't look good for a leader to have such vulnerable traits such as what Iris Moonblessed have. Cordis... No. That's too normal and plain. ]
If anything happens, I assure you it's nothing personal.
You say that like you've already figured out what you're gonna be.
[ Which isn't much of a surprise, really. The way things usually tend to work out, of course Akashi would end up as Sanguis and a literal top dog type.
It inevitably brings to mind the image of Akashi with wolf ears and tail and a commanding smirk on his face.
...All right, so even if the guy would probably be at his most insufferable under the influence of that aggressive Moonblessing, it...wouldn't be a bad look.
What are you thinking might happen? is the question that also leaps to mind, but Mayuzumi holds back on asking it for now. Because there's the other half to what Akashi might potentially be picturing in relation to that statement that Mayuzumi's curious to know. ]
So? What do you think I'll be then? Since you're the guy who can see the future and all that.
[ It only takes once glance at Mayuzumi for Akashi to answer. ]
Cordis.
[ Not because Akashi thinks Mayuzumi is plain. Perhaps he did once upon a time, but now, he considers Mayuzumi exceptional and a cut above the rest. He wants Mayuzumi's attention and affection, if he were to be honest, but he also wants his support and his guidance. According to legend, the traits that fall under the Cordis moonblessing seem to fit how Akashi perceives Mayuzumi to be. Just that for Akashi, he can't see himself as such.
[ That kind of statement would've irritated the hell out of Mayuzumi not that long ago, because he'd leap to an automatic assumption of condescension. But because of how Akashi's admitted to feeling about him it now carries a different, flustering kind of weight, making his cheeks feel warmer than they did a moment ago.
He glances off to the side. ]
...At least you didn't say Iris.
[ That would've bugged him for sure, especially because Akashi has a track record on being right way too often. He's heard a few things about Iris here and there and...yeah, he doesn't want to deal with, uh, that. And if Akashi pictured himself as a wolf and Mayuzumi as a rabbit, wouldn't that be suggestive of how the guy might think things would go between them? There's definitely an image that comes to mind of a wolfish Akashi ankle breaking him and lording over him that simultaneously unsettles him yet makes his stomach flip over strangely; sure Mayuzumi may have deferred to the guy when he was on Rakuzan's team, but he isn't Akashi's subordinate anymore and the idea of that kind of dynamic extending into more intimate territory just stirs up a feeling he's having a hard time making sense of.
What makes him stop short isn't that line of thought but their arrival in front of his building. It looks to be an older building with large windows, surrounded by trees, ivy climbing up the white concrete facade. ]
This is it, by the way.
[ He leads Akashi through the main door and up the stairs, pausing in front of his apartment and handing the takeout bag over so he can use the door's touchpad. His expression might not show it, but his heartrate's picked up thanks to their being in this quiet, enclosed hallway with his apartment on the other side of the door before them.
It's strange, isn't it, that they've lived together for months and had been inside each others' rooms in that house in Verens without him ever thinking anything particularly notable about it, yet he suddenly feels nervous now about letting Akashi into his place... ]
[ Akashi isn't that nervous anymore. He feels fine, somehow, even though he wishes Emerald were here with them. He's leaving everything to Mayuzumi, and... he says it's okay, so everything is going to be okay.
He does notice Mayuzumi getting nervous, though. Akashi always notices everything about him, even before they were partners. Maybe they truly are soulmates. ]
It's nothing to be nervous about. We'll have a quick dinner. We'll talk, formulate a plan on what to do while we're here. I'd like to know how it feels like to kiss you, as I've said earlier, but I don't intend to put any pressure on you.
[ What Akashi says does make an impression on Mayuzumi, it's true; the guy's ability to do that hasn't really changed since their time at Rakuzan. Mayuzumi doesn't reply at first, instead stepping inside the open door and leading Akashi inside.
Once they're both inside his apartment and the door's slid shut, though, he stops in the entryway and turns to face Akashi, his expression still unreadable as ever...except for his narrowing eyes. ]
...You're assuming way too much, you know.
[ He steps forward, his free hand pressing against the door by Akashi's head, his voice dropping intimately low. ]
What made you think I wanted to wait?
[ Wolves or rabbits or cats? Captain and former subordinate? Whatever, as if he's going to let any of that matter. Mayuzumi has an approach to this he's decided he wants to take, and he isn't going to let anything get in the way of it, the same approach he'd started to contemplate before they even left Verens.
Regardless of the complexities of who the two of them might be and what they are and have been to each other, he has his cute, shorter, younger kouhai caged against his front door right now, someone who might be a natural leader but who also wants to be led. By him.
So he'll lead. ]
We can eat later.
[ He breathes it into the space between their lips, before he leans in to make that disappear. ]
[ It's honestly very surprising to have Mayuzumi react this way. Was Akashi assuming too much? Was that annoying—something Mayuzumi didn't like? Ah... But then he has his back to the door and there doesn't seem to be a way out of this situation. He's quick to realise that he doesn't have control of this situation anymore. Somehow, there's something scary about that. Akashi likes being in control, he likes knowing, but with Mayuzumi acting this way...
It's somewhat a turn on.
He likes it.
It's why he just nods in compliance, mouth slightly open to say something, but instead, he stays quiet and lets himself be led. He trusts Mayuzumi enough for it. His eyes close before he even knows it, and then their lips touch and it suddenly feels like everything is on fire. ]
[ It isn't just the press of their mouths together or even the chroma that makes Mayuzumi feel like he's been struck by lightning. It's the powerful rush of Akashi giving in and following Mayuzumi's lead rather than insisting on dictating everything to the letter.
That's what had irritated him a moment ago; what Akashi said also felt like it carried the implication that maybe Mayuzumi wasn't prepared to follow through. But maybe it was what he needed to hear to spur him to stop being nervous and just follow his instincts.
He isn't going to betray the trust being placed in him regardless. His fingers tighten where they're intertwined when his tongue teases at Akashi's lips and slips between them; it's like a floodgate's opened up inside him, the confused feelings that he's nursed for months pouring out as desire, because that's what it was all along, what it must have been for it to be washing over him so powerfully now, a deluge that he wants Akashi to be just as swept away by as he is. He wants that expression of heated yearning he couldn't get out of his mind all this time turned fully towards him, too.
Even when he needs to break off for air he can't pull back, his lips still brushing against Akashi's between every breath and whisper, his other hand leaving the door to caress Akashi's cheek and slip to the back of Akashi's neck. ]
Stay with me tonight.
[ Mayuzumi wants Akashi's warmth and Akashi's face to greet him in the morning, a body tangled up with his and the head of someone he cares about nestled on his pillow, rather than face starting another day alone in a cold bed. ]
[ It's different from kissing Emerald, but not a bad kind. He wouldn't compare the two—they're both unique experiences, although at this moment, being able to kiss Mayuzumi is bringing Akashi so much comfort. Beyond it feeling good and beyond the Chroma that's begun to flow in him, Mayuzumi is warm. His presence at this moment is beyond belief, and he doesn't want to let go of Mayuzumi ever.
He's not sure if Mayuzumi can hear his heart beating wildly as Mayuzumi hovers over him, but he can't hear anything beyond their breaths and how his chest is thumping. It's a little difficult to see with Mayuzumi so close... but he finds that he doesn't mind it.
Admittedly, he has to get back to his apartment because Yukimaru is there. He's left some food for the horse though... but he imagines the mess in the balcony that he'll be cleaning up will be difficult to manage if he gets back tomorrow. But Mayuzumi is here now, telling him to stay. What if this chance goes away forever if he lets it slip?
So... he'll do something he's never done before. Shirk his responsibility. ]
I'll be with you even if the spell wears off. [ This is what he wants. He doesn't want to be making knots with a stranger right now. He doesn't want to watch a play by himself, as educational as it might be. He wants to stay with Mayuzumi, be by his side and just be Akashi, because Mayuzumi knows him and will always find him. He doesn't have to continue fronting that he's fine and that he can conquer whatever this world will throw at him.
He still has one hand on the bag of food and his other is linked to Mayuzumi's, so he uses that hand to pull Mayuzumi forward. If he topples over Akashi, then that's fine, but he wants to kiss his senpai again. ]
[ It's exactly what Mayuzumi wanted to hear; he speaks Akashi's name softly before he follows Akashi's pull. Their bodies crash together before their mouths do, but it's more than fine when Akashi feels solid against him, warm and present. Their second kiss is dizzying as the first, the moonlacing effect amplifying the feelings already present between them, soothing and thrilling all at once.
It's a problem that Akashi's other hand is full and can't hold onto Mayuzumi, though. He doesn't want anything getting in the way, and it's enough to make him break off. There's better places than the entryway for this. ]
Come on.
[ He'll lead Akashi deeper into the apartment, past the kitchen area where their dinner can be abandoned on the counter and straight to the bedroom. Right now all he cares about is kissing Akashi, holding him, feeling the warmth of their bodies blur together and reach inside of him to chase away the empty chill that's taken hold when he was sure he was completely alone.
Before they even make it to the bed Mayuzumi's already kissing him again... ]
[ There's not much time for Akashi to check his surroundings. He can't appreciate the interior of Mayuzumi's apartment because his eyes are heavily focused on the silver haired man before him. There's nothing wrong with it. Mayuzumi likely wouldn't find any fault in it, and Akashi sees nothing wrong with following his lead. Many people don't see Mayuzumi, don't notice him, but Akashi always will.
There's not much time for Akashi to think, either. His brain doesn't want anything else but to taste Mayuzumi's lips again. It's as if the first two times weren't enough— that's because they weren't. Akashi feels like he'd never grow tired of kissing Mayuzumi... and he wants to keep doing it and doing it until Mayuzumi's lips are swollen red, reflecting the colour of Akashi's eyes.
Before he can say anything, before he can ask or comment, Mayuzumi's got him again. They're kissing again, and Akashi's eyes have squeezed shut. He'd been wondering what it's like to kiss Mayuzumi. He's gotten his answer. It's amazing, intoxicating, and addictive. The worries he carries are momentarily forgotten. His world is just Mayuzumi at this moment.
Now with his other hand free, Akashi places a hand on Mayuzumi's chest, bunching up his shirt as he kisses back with an intense hunger. He's betting everything on Mayuzumi right now, and this wouldn't be the first time. It's sure to be fulfilling. ]
[ Moonlacing might be making kissing Akashi that much more irresistible, yet Mayuzumi gets the feeling that even if they were still in Verens or back home it would feel just as overwhelming. Right now he's bearing the brunt of something like that breathtaking intensity of focus that he's only experienced Akashi bringing to bear before on the basketball court...and he likes it, likes Akashi wanting and needing him so relentlessly. Akashi always finds Mayuzumi and never leaves him alone for long, no matter how much he's tried to run away and isolate himself; maybe on a deep level he's really always wanted someone in his life who'd stubbornly bother with pursuing him...
Someone who wants the same thing he does right now. He steps backwards until he feels the bed brush against his calves, sinking down onto the mattress and pulling Akashi along with him. He doesn't want space between their bodies any more, and he tries to eliminate that now that they're both on the bed, hand slipping around Akashi's torso. It feels like pressed this close Akashi will sense his racing heart.
He wants to kiss Akashi and wants him to be within reach the entire night, but beyond that— ]
I want to touch you.
[ He says it soft when their mouths part again for air, nuzzling cheek to cheek, tingling lips brushing over Akashi's jawline. His fingers splay against Akashi's back, nails scraping light over a shoulderblade. ]
[ It's impossible to hear anything else aside from the ringing in his ears and the thrumming of his heart. Akashi's eyes are on Mayuzumi, but it's a little difficult to think and breathe and process anything. It's not... bad. Akashi's not complaining at all, because he'd been thinking about kissing Mayuzumi for weeks and he's gotten to experience it. It's still not an ideal situation, but Akashi wouldn't trade this for the world.
Right now, his world revolves around Mayuzumi.
It takes some time for him to answer, because his breath is uneven and he wants to give Mayuzumi what he wants, but at the same time, not sound too eager. It's not like he's touched by people often, so it's been a while... and it's with somebody new. He has to close his eyes and calm himself so when he responds, it's done properly. ]
Mayuzumi-san, I'm nervous.
[ ... He'll be honest, because that's what Mayuzumi wants. He doesn't seem against the idea though, because he's not moving away. In fact, he takes Mayuzumi's hand to put it over his heart just so the older boy can feel it. ]
[ It's such a vulnerable thing for Akashi to say that Mayuzumi's face flushes; he feels like he's been given a gift that at one point in the past he couldn't have ever imagined recieving.
This guy can be really cute...
It's a bit pressuring to have so much responsibility placed in his hands when he's also nervous and still finding his way, but this is what he chose to initiate. Even if he's the kind of guy who isn't naturally conscientious he wants to validate Akashi's trust in him just as much as he wants to deepen the intimacy between them.
His feelings are equally as raw as Akashi's even if his expression might be calmer. As close as he might want to be, he doesn't want to push either of them beyond what they're comfortable with. ]
That's okay. It's okay to be nervous.
[ All Akashi has to do is mirror the gesture he's pulled Mayuzumi's hand into to notice a heartbeat that's in synch and just as elevated. It's normal and natural for anyone in their situation to feel the way they both do, but he's long since gotten the sense that Akashi rarely allows this for himself. That he's doing so now and being so honest makes for a fragile atmosphere that Mayuzumi doesn't want to break.
His thumb brushes over Akashi's chest and he gives the guy a soft kiss on the cheek. While he'd prefer their interlaced hands to be free, it's also a reassuring kind of contact. ]
You don't have to hold anything back. If there's something you don't want me to do, or something I do that you don't like, it's okay to tell me.
[ Akashi nods slowly, still looking a little unsure. It's not everyday he puts his whole life in someone else's hands. And yes, his entire life. What happened just recently should probably be taken slowly, but Akashi's the kind of person who has difficulty trusting people. It's not because the people around him aren't trustworthy, but he's been raised to believe that he can't trust anybody but himself. He's still undergoing this learning process where he begins to open up and trust people.
It's difficult. ]
I don't know what my limits are yet.
[ This is such new territory that he can't really state what he likes and doesn't like, but... he's willing to try a lot of things with Mayuzumi. ]
[ His hand slips out gently from underneath Akashi's, giving Akashi's cheek a caress with the back of his fingers, a reassuring preamble to what he wants to do next. It's then that his hand moves to Akashi's upper chest and he begins his exploration, slowly sliding his hand over Akashi's chest and down over Akashi's abdomen, tracing over the muscles he can discern even through the fabric of Akashi's shirt. He kisses Akashi again with a similar kind of gentle deliberation, his tongue sliding against Akashi's and curling around it in more wordless encouragement.
It's when his hand reaches Akashi's waist that he hesitates, but then begins to tug at the guy's shirt so he can slip his hand beneath and feel Akashi's skin under his fingertips. ]
[ Emerald touching him is fine. He's gotten used to it already. Having someone else touch him in this way is new though, and Mayuzumi will find Akashi's breath hitching, hairs on his arms and chest standing up the moment Mayuzumi's hand slips under his shirt. A soft whisper of the older boy's name escapes Akashi's lips. At this time though, all Akashi can do is follow. He kisses back, tongue swirling and dancing with Mayuzumi's, but he doesn't touch. He's... honestly not sure how, or what Mayuzumi would like touched.
His free hand does end up on Mayuzumi's chest, though. He bunches up the older boy's shirt as he kisses back, slow and testing the waters. Maybe he's putting too much responsibility on Mayuzumi, but right now, he wants Mayuzumi to comfort him and assure him that everything is going to be okay. It's not a means to forget — Akashi won't ever forget Emerald, but he needs to calm down and be grounded or else he'll end up doing a bunch of extreme things just to find Emerald again. ]
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If you leave too, I should just die. The words aren't spoken aloud, but Akashi thinks it. He might still have basketball and he might still have his best friends, but what's the point of living when you lose all the people you love? This is just another instance in which Akashi tells himself he needs to figure out how to bind souls together.
He's in a new world now. Maybe there really is a way. ]
Do you still want to watch the play?
[ Akashi would be fine with it, but when he looks up at Mayuzumi to meet his eyes, all he wants to do is just stay here or be anywhere else just as long as they're together. ]
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I think I'd have a hard time focusing on it right now.
[ And he's become conscious of the fact that they're getting pretty cozy in public right now. People might not notice him, but Akashi's definitely the kind of guy to stand out and Mayuzumi would rather not have strangers witnessing more of this vulnerable moment they're sharing. ]
...My apartment's not that far.
[ At least it's somewhere more private for them to continue this as well as wait out the magic that's keeping their hands clasped together.
...And if Akashi decides he wants to stay the night once this spell wears off, Mayuzumi doesn't have it in him to object. ]
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Everything is going to be okay. ]
Perhaps we can buy something to eat along the way. [ He looks at their joined hands and brings them up just a little to point out what he means. ] We have some coin, and we'll need some sustenance.
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[ He's glad Akashi didn't suggest they dine in somewhere, but he can't disagree that getting a meal in would still be a good idea. He's also grateful that it maybe ratchets the tension down between them for the moment since it'll take a little time to get back to his apartment.
...Once they're alone, though... ]
There's a yakitori place near my building we can pick something up at that isn't bad, if you like. It's pretty cheap, too.
[ He glances off to the side. ]
I mean, it's probably no surprise I've been kind of broke here on my own, but I think that's...maybe not going to be as big of a problem anymore.
[ He's not the kind of guy who's particularly comfortable touching random strangers, after all. He's scraped by thanks to a part-time job, but demichroma just doesn't rate well in comparison. Even if their relationship didn't just take a more intimate turn having Akashi here would probably still be a big help for him in this department. ]
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[ Ah, that doesn't sound so bad. It's not the kind of food that's served in the streets either, so it should be clean. Being in a new world, Akashi worries about the kind of food being served, but yakitori is familiar. It should be okay. ]
I have some Chroma. From today and the other day.
[ He's been holding people's hands and being princess carried. He's been surviving. ]
I can pay.
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...I'll treat you next time, then. Come on.
[ The walk isn't particularly long once they've made it out of the area hosting the Amegahara contingent, down streets lined with shops and apartments and small parks, everywhere lush with greenery. The yakitori restaurant is humble, a comfortable and lively little hole-in-the-wall, suited more for unwinding with a beer after a busy day at work than a romantic eating spot; but the smell of what's inside the bag of takeout the two of them emerge with is absolutely delicious.
There's still a number of things Mayuzumi wants to ask Akashi about, but one thing comes to mind when he glances up at the already-rising, waning Cordis moon. ]
By the way, I was wondering. I don't know all the details about this moonblessing stuff the locals talked about when I got here, but I've heard weird things can happen when a moon's full. Have you noticed anything...different these past couple of days?
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The trait seems to be a boon at this specific moment, though. ]
Not with me, no. I've learned that it's currently the Cordis cycle, but I've not been affected by anything. My libido is the same, and I don't have any animal ears or a tail or fur. [ He really has thought of this, because he says everything without missing a beat. ] I don't feel playful, nor am I hungry all the time.
[ But he throws the question right back at Mayuzumi. . . ]
What of you? I've heard that Moonblessings don't manifest right away, or that they manifest in different ways every month. It's possible that Cordis may be our Moonblessing, but the traits that come with the alignment may not be present now.
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[ ...Not something he can attribute to the moon's influence, at least. Even if he's keeping it contained, there's a desire still simmering quietly beneath the surface that only Akashi's to blame for thanks to that earlier confession, an urge to be closer than just holding hands like they are right now. If Akashi had turned his face up at just the right moment before, Mayuzumi would've...
But Akashi didn't, and for now they're making their way down a public sidewalk with their dinner. Speculating about what sort of moonblessing Akashi might have both is and isn't a distraction from those kind of thoughts. ]
I guess we'll have to wait and see to find out what we are. Maybe we'll be the same or different, who knows. I just hope I don't end up with one that's a pain to deal with, though.
[ It'd be great if the worst he has to endure is getting a little extra hungry a few days a month, but things almost never work out that nicely for him... ]
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[ Because he definitely believes that whatever his Moonblessing might be? It's Sanguis. While he doesn't consider himself a fish, a wolf, or a snake, he certainly thinks of himself an alpha type. He's a leader, after all. It wouldn't look good for a leader to have such vulnerable traits such as what Iris Moonblessed have. Cordis... No. That's too normal and plain. ]
If anything happens, I assure you it's nothing personal.
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[ Which isn't much of a surprise, really. The way things usually tend to work out, of course Akashi would end up as Sanguis and a literal top dog type.
It inevitably brings to mind the image of Akashi with wolf ears and tail and a commanding smirk on his face.
...All right, so even if the guy would probably be at his most insufferable under the influence of that aggressive Moonblessing, it...wouldn't be a bad look.
What are you thinking might happen? is the question that also leaps to mind, but Mayuzumi holds back on asking it for now. Because there's the other half to what Akashi might potentially be picturing in relation to that statement that Mayuzumi's curious to know. ]
So? What do you think I'll be then? Since you're the guy who can see the future and all that.
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Cordis.
[ Not because Akashi thinks Mayuzumi is plain. Perhaps he did once upon a time, but now, he considers Mayuzumi exceptional and a cut above the rest. He wants Mayuzumi's attention and affection, if he were to be honest, but he also wants his support and his guidance. According to legend, the traits that fall under the Cordis moonblessing seem to fit how Akashi perceives Mayuzumi to be. Just that for Akashi, he can't see himself as such.
Akashi doesn't say all those, though. ]
I think you would look very cute with cat ears.
[ 'u' ]
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He glances off to the side. ]
...At least you didn't say Iris.
[ That would've bugged him for sure, especially because Akashi has a track record on being right way too often. He's heard a few things about Iris here and there and...yeah, he doesn't want to deal with, uh, that. And if Akashi pictured himself as a wolf and Mayuzumi as a rabbit, wouldn't that be suggestive of how the guy might think things would go between them? There's definitely an image that comes to mind of a wolfish Akashi ankle breaking him and lording over him that simultaneously unsettles him yet makes his stomach flip over strangely; sure Mayuzumi may have deferred to the guy when he was on Rakuzan's team, but he isn't Akashi's subordinate anymore and the idea of that kind of dynamic extending into more intimate territory just stirs up a feeling he's having a hard time making sense of.
What makes him stop short isn't that line of thought but their arrival in front of his building. It looks to be an older building with large windows, surrounded by trees, ivy climbing up the white concrete facade. ]
This is it, by the way.
[ He leads Akashi through the main door and up the stairs, pausing in front of his apartment and handing the takeout bag over so he can use the door's touchpad. His expression might not show it, but his heartrate's picked up thanks to their being in this quiet, enclosed hallway with his apartment on the other side of the door before them.
It's strange, isn't it, that they've lived together for months and had been inside each others' rooms in that house in Verens without him ever thinking anything particularly notable about it, yet he suddenly feels nervous now about letting Akashi into his place... ]
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He does notice Mayuzumi getting nervous, though. Akashi always notices everything about him, even before they were partners. Maybe they truly are soulmates. ]
It's nothing to be nervous about. We'll have a quick dinner. We'll talk, formulate a plan on what to do while we're here. I'd like to know how it feels like to kiss you, as I've said earlier, but I don't intend to put any pressure on you.
... I can wait.
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Once they're both inside his apartment and the door's slid shut, though, he stops in the entryway and turns to face Akashi, his expression still unreadable as ever...except for his narrowing eyes. ]
...You're assuming way too much, you know.
[ He steps forward, his free hand pressing against the door by Akashi's head, his voice dropping intimately low. ]
What made you think I wanted to wait?
[ Wolves or rabbits or cats? Captain and former subordinate? Whatever, as if he's going to let any of that matter. Mayuzumi has an approach to this he's decided he wants to take, and he isn't going to let anything get in the way of it, the same approach he'd started to contemplate before they even left Verens.
Regardless of the complexities of who the two of them might be and what they are and have been to each other, he has his cute, shorter, younger kouhai caged against his front door right now, someone who might be a natural leader but who also wants to be led. By him.
So he'll lead. ]
We can eat later.
[ He breathes it into the space between their lips, before he leans in to make that disappear. ]
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It's somewhat a turn on.
He likes it.
It's why he just nods in compliance, mouth slightly open to say something, but instead, he stays quiet and lets himself be led. He trusts Mayuzumi enough for it. His eyes close before he even knows it, and then their lips touch and it suddenly feels like everything is on fire. ]
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That's what had irritated him a moment ago; what Akashi said also felt like it carried the implication that maybe Mayuzumi wasn't prepared to follow through. But maybe it was what he needed to hear to spur him to stop being nervous and just follow his instincts.
He isn't going to betray the trust being placed in him regardless. His fingers tighten where they're intertwined when his tongue teases at Akashi's lips and slips between them; it's like a floodgate's opened up inside him, the confused feelings that he's nursed for months pouring out as desire, because that's what it was all along, what it must have been for it to be washing over him so powerfully now, a deluge that he wants Akashi to be just as swept away by as he is. He wants that expression of heated yearning he couldn't get out of his mind all this time turned fully towards him, too.
Even when he needs to break off for air he can't pull back, his lips still brushing against Akashi's between every breath and whisper, his other hand leaving the door to caress Akashi's cheek and slip to the back of Akashi's neck. ]
Stay with me tonight.
[ Mayuzumi wants Akashi's warmth and Akashi's face to greet him in the morning, a body tangled up with his and the head of someone he cares about nestled on his pillow, rather than face starting another day alone in a cold bed. ]
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He's not sure if Mayuzumi can hear his heart beating wildly as Mayuzumi hovers over him, but he can't hear anything beyond their breaths and how his chest is thumping. It's a little difficult to see with Mayuzumi so close... but he finds that he doesn't mind it.
Admittedly, he has to get back to his apartment because Yukimaru is there. He's left some food for the horse though... but he imagines the mess in the balcony that he'll be cleaning up will be difficult to manage if he gets back tomorrow. But Mayuzumi is here now, telling him to stay. What if this chance goes away forever if he lets it slip?
So... he'll do something he's never done before. Shirk his responsibility. ]
I'll be with you even if the spell wears off. [ This is what he wants. He doesn't want to be making knots with a stranger right now. He doesn't want to watch a play by himself, as educational as it might be. He wants to stay with Mayuzumi, be by his side and just be Akashi, because Mayuzumi knows him and will always find him. He doesn't have to continue fronting that he's fine and that he can conquer whatever this world will throw at him.
He still has one hand on the bag of food and his other is linked to Mayuzumi's, so he uses that hand to pull Mayuzumi forward. If he topples over Akashi, then that's fine, but he wants to kiss his senpai again. ]
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It's a problem that Akashi's other hand is full and can't hold onto Mayuzumi, though. He doesn't want anything getting in the way, and it's enough to make him break off. There's better places than the entryway for this. ]
Come on.
[ He'll lead Akashi deeper into the apartment, past the kitchen area where their dinner can be abandoned on the counter and straight to the bedroom. Right now all he cares about is kissing Akashi, holding him, feeling the warmth of their bodies blur together and reach inside of him to chase away the empty chill that's taken hold when he was sure he was completely alone.
Before they even make it to the bed Mayuzumi's already kissing him again... ]
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There's not much time for Akashi to think, either. His brain doesn't want anything else but to taste Mayuzumi's lips again. It's as if the first two times weren't enough— that's because they weren't. Akashi feels like he'd never grow tired of kissing Mayuzumi... and he wants to keep doing it and doing it until Mayuzumi's lips are swollen red, reflecting the colour of Akashi's eyes.
Before he can say anything, before he can ask or comment, Mayuzumi's got him again. They're kissing again, and Akashi's eyes have squeezed shut. He'd been wondering what it's like to kiss Mayuzumi. He's gotten his answer. It's amazing, intoxicating, and addictive. The worries he carries are momentarily forgotten. His world is just Mayuzumi at this moment.
Now with his other hand free, Akashi places a hand on Mayuzumi's chest, bunching up his shirt as he kisses back with an intense hunger. He's betting everything on Mayuzumi right now, and this wouldn't be the first time. It's sure to be fulfilling. ]
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Someone who wants the same thing he does right now. He steps backwards until he feels the bed brush against his calves, sinking down onto the mattress and pulling Akashi along with him. He doesn't want space between their bodies any more, and he tries to eliminate that now that they're both on the bed, hand slipping around Akashi's torso. It feels like pressed this close Akashi will sense his racing heart.
He wants to kiss Akashi and wants him to be within reach the entire night, but beyond that— ]
I want to touch you.
[ He says it soft when their mouths part again for air, nuzzling cheek to cheek, tingling lips brushing over Akashi's jawline. His fingers splay against Akashi's back, nails scraping light over a shoulderblade. ]
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Right now, his world revolves around Mayuzumi.
It takes some time for him to answer, because his breath is uneven and he wants to give Mayuzumi what he wants, but at the same time, not sound too eager. It's not like he's touched by people often, so it's been a while... and it's with somebody new. He has to close his eyes and calm himself so when he responds, it's done properly. ]
Mayuzumi-san, I'm nervous.
[ ... He'll be honest, because that's what Mayuzumi wants. He doesn't seem against the idea though, because he's not moving away. In fact, he takes Mayuzumi's hand to put it over his heart just so the older boy can feel it. ]
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This guy can be really cute...
It's a bit pressuring to have so much responsibility placed in his hands when he's also nervous and still finding his way, but this is what he chose to initiate. Even if he's the kind of guy who isn't naturally conscientious he wants to validate Akashi's trust in him just as much as he wants to deepen the intimacy between them.
His feelings are equally as raw as Akashi's even if his expression might be calmer. As close as he might want to be, he doesn't want to push either of them beyond what they're comfortable with. ]
That's okay. It's okay to be nervous.
[ All Akashi has to do is mirror the gesture he's pulled Mayuzumi's hand into to notice a heartbeat that's in synch and just as elevated. It's normal and natural for anyone in their situation to feel the way they both do, but he's long since gotten the sense that Akashi rarely allows this for himself. That he's doing so now and being so honest makes for a fragile atmosphere that Mayuzumi doesn't want to break.
His thumb brushes over Akashi's chest and he gives the guy a soft kiss on the cheek. While he'd prefer their interlaced hands to be free, it's also a reassuring kind of contact. ]
You don't have to hold anything back. If there's something you don't want me to do, or something I do that you don't like, it's okay to tell me.
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It's difficult. ]
I don't know what my limits are yet.
[ This is such new territory that he can't really state what he likes and doesn't like, but... he's willing to try a lot of things with Mayuzumi. ]
But I'll tell you once I know.
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[ His hand slips out gently from underneath Akashi's, giving Akashi's cheek a caress with the back of his fingers, a reassuring preamble to what he wants to do next. It's then that his hand moves to Akashi's upper chest and he begins his exploration, slowly sliding his hand over Akashi's chest and down over Akashi's abdomen, tracing over the muscles he can discern even through the fabric of Akashi's shirt. He kisses Akashi again with a similar kind of gentle deliberation, his tongue sliding against Akashi's and curling around it in more wordless encouragement.
It's when his hand reaches Akashi's waist that he hesitates, but then begins to tug at the guy's shirt so he can slip his hand beneath and feel Akashi's skin under his fingertips. ]
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His free hand does end up on Mayuzumi's chest, though. He bunches up the older boy's shirt as he kisses back, slow and testing the waters. Maybe he's putting too much responsibility on Mayuzumi, but right now, he wants Mayuzumi to comfort him and assure him that everything is going to be okay. It's not a means to forget — Akashi won't ever forget Emerald, but he needs to calm down and be grounded or else he'll end up doing a bunch of extreme things just to find Emerald again. ]
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