[ The tightness of Akashi's grip and the tone of his voice both make Mayuzumi pull back quickly; it's the exact opposite of what he'd been aiming to draw out.
Akashi's throat is a sensitive area for the guy, and not in a good way; it leaves Mayuzumi blurting out an awkward apology. ]
Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—
[ He draws in a breath, running his free hand through his hair; it seems like he got a little too caught up in his feelings and ended up pushing Akashi outside of his comfort zone. Maybe it's no wonder when both of them are probably feeling kind of raw and vulnerable right now... ]
[ Akashi doesn't answer immediately, looking a little embarrassed that he rejected Mayuzumi. He's not sure if he should even explain, but Mayuzumi deserves to know. ]
I was bitten there before... by a vampire.
[ It probably sounds like bullshit, but Empatheias is a world that opened all kinds of possibilities. They haven't exactly proved what bit him then, but the two marks on his neck made him think that it was a vampire and not a wolf of some other creature. He'd never really gotten to find out what the truth was. Even the illusions he saw—his mother and father—it was only Emerald who convinced him that they weren't real.
Sometimes, when he thinks about it, it certainly felt real, though.
[ Mayuzumi doesn't have any reason to doubt Akashi's explanation; he definitely ran into plenty of stuff that was supernatural while he was in Verens, so there's nothing unbelievable to him about vampires really existing. ]
I really didn't know, I'm sorry.
[ He can't blame the guy for being put off by something like that; he shifts so Akashi can cuddle up against his chest, quietly offering that form of comfort. ]
[ He is, because he's inconveniencing Mayuzumi. It took a lot out of him to even say that he didn't want to be kissed there. His heart is racing, both from nervousness and fear, and he's not sure how to fix that just yet.
But he figures, maybe talking about it will help. ]
It was, yes.
[ And Mayuzumi may be offering to cuddle, but Akashi just keeps to himself, even moving backwards a little because he's not sure if it's okay to move closer. ]
I don't think about it that often anymore, but I'm reminded of what happened sometimes.
You don't have anything to apologize about. I'd be pretty shaken up if something like that happened to me.
[ He reaches out and strokes Akashi's cheek. ]
...I know I'm not always the most conscientious guy, but I don't want to to make you feel bad when we're doing stuff like this. I wouldn't want you to hold back from telling me the truth if something bothers you.
[ Sure, he may grumble or snap back occasionally when they're having a more normal conversation, but he really doesn't want to actually hurt Akashi. Especially not when they're being intimate.
[ Even if Mayuzumi says that, Akashi's still going to try and keep things to himself, anyway. The last thing he wants is to inconvenience somebody he cares about. He doesn't want anybody to be disappointed because of him.
He listens, though, and he moves closer to Mayuzumi, just looking at him in the eyes. ]
[ Mayuzumi reaches out when Akashi's closer, wanting to embrace him; he knows the guy's unsettled, so he wants to try and make Akashi feel safe and accepted. Regardless of where they might be, he's someone Akashi really can rely on no matter what.
He's tried to be that kind of person for Akashi before in his own way and not always being the most gentle about it, admittedly. But fulfilling that role in the guy's life has just grown to be even more important now that he's not just Akashi's upperclassman or partner anymore.
And with both of them already suffering because Emerald's...
...Because they haven't found Emerald yet, all they have is each other to lean on right now. It's making him especially soft on Akashi in the present moment, even if expressing how he feels directly normally doesn't come easily to him. ]
Mm.
...It's...really fine. Having you here with me is enough.
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no subject
Akashi's throat is a sensitive area for the guy, and not in a good way; it leaves Mayuzumi blurting out an awkward apology. ]
Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—
[ He draws in a breath, running his free hand through his hair; it seems like he got a little too caught up in his feelings and ended up pushing Akashi outside of his comfort zone. Maybe it's no wonder when both of them are probably feeling kind of raw and vulnerable right now... ]
...Sorry. I guess I was overdoing it.
[ He gives Akashi's hand a light squeeze. ]
We can slow down and just...be close for tonight.
[ His tone grows softer. ]
...Are you okay?
no subject
I was bitten there before... by a vampire.
[ It probably sounds like bullshit, but Empatheias is a world that opened all kinds of possibilities. They haven't exactly proved what bit him then, but the two marks on his neck made him think that it was a vampire and not a wolf of some other creature. He'd never really gotten to find out what the truth was. Even the illusions he saw—his mother and father—it was only Emerald who convinced him that they weren't real.
Sometimes, when he thinks about it, it certainly felt real, though.
So no, he's not okay. ]
no subject
I really didn't know, I'm sorry.
[ He can't blame the guy for being put off by something like that; he shifts so Akashi can cuddle up against his chest, quietly offering that form of comfort. ]
That...must've been before I got to Empatheias.
no subject
[ He is, because he's inconveniencing Mayuzumi. It took a lot out of him to even say that he didn't want to be kissed there. His heart is racing, both from nervousness and fear, and he's not sure how to fix that just yet.
But he figures, maybe talking about it will help. ]
It was, yes.
[ And Mayuzumi may be offering to cuddle, but Akashi just keeps to himself, even moving backwards a little because he's not sure if it's okay to move closer. ]
I don't think about it that often anymore, but I'm reminded of what happened sometimes.
no subject
[ He reaches out and strokes Akashi's cheek. ]
...I know I'm not always the most conscientious guy, but I don't want to to make you feel bad when we're doing stuff like this. I wouldn't want you to hold back from telling me the truth if something bothers you.
[ Sure, he may grumble or snap back occasionally when they're having a more normal conversation, but he really doesn't want to actually hurt Akashi. Especially not when they're being intimate.
His voice softens more. ]
You can come closer.
no subject
He listens, though, and he moves closer to Mayuzumi, just looking at him in the eyes. ]
Thank you.
no subject
He's tried to be that kind of person for Akashi before in his own way and not always being the most gentle about it, admittedly. But fulfilling that role in the guy's life has just grown to be even more important now that he's not just Akashi's upperclassman or partner anymore.
And with both of them already suffering because Emerald's...
...Because they haven't found Emerald yet, all they have is each other to lean on right now. It's making him especially soft on Akashi in the present moment, even if expressing how he feels directly normally doesn't come easily to him. ]
Mm.
...It's...really fine. Having you here with me is enough.
[ He sighs quietly. ]
...I'm really...glad you're around.