Somehow, he didn't expect Mayuzumi to be upset about that. He's surprised and he ends up letting go of Mayuzumi. His hand hovers over the other's palm for a few seconds before Akashi retracts his arm completely. Both his hands fall to his lap and he looks down, unable to meet Mayuzumi in the eye. Not that he's looking at Akashi, anyway. ]
I'm sorry.
[ He knows it's not his fault, but... he feels the need to apologise, regardless. He doesn't really... understand the jealousy of being first or second or whatever, but. . . he's hurting Mayuzumi too because of his past with Miu. Emerald already beats herself up constantly because of how Akashi revered Miu and she'd compare herself to her. What happened when the two of them were trying to pilot a GIGA is still fresh in his mind. He doesn't want to hurt Mayuzumi, too. Emerald said she didn't want to lose any part of Akashi, though. He's not sure how to fix that now when Mayuzumi is upset, too.
If it's the topic of being ready, though, Akashi's not sure. He's honestly never thought about being ready or not. Mayuzumi's company if precious and one of the most important things in his life right now, and he does like it when they're kissing, when they're close and when he can feel Mayuzumi's heat against his skin. Admittedly, he'd thought about doing more more than once, but it happening in real life is different. He wouldn't say that Mayuzumi is eager for wanting Akashi the way he does, though. Akashi is quite flattered, and he's fine with Mayuzumi wanting him.
Akashi closes his eyes for a moment. He's thinking too much. ]
[ Mayuzumi doesn't answer right away; he feels an ache when Akashi pulls away from him. Damn it, this isn't why he came over here tonight. He'd wanted to reassure the guy and instead ended up stirring up a different problem. ]
...You don't have to apologize. Like I said, you can't change what's already happened, and it's normal to do things like that with someone you're dating.
[ Which is why he wants to do that too. But he also doesn't want Akashi to feel he has to do anything before he's ready, either. ]
It's just...frustrating, that's all.
[ There isn't actually a line but Mayuzumi still feels like he's on the end of it, somehow; the first to get close to the guy, but the last to fall for him. In a lot of ways Akashi became the most important person in Mayuzumi's life since that initial rooftop encounter back at Rakuzan, until he met Emerald and that particular place within him grew to hold two people. The guy gave him the chance of a lifetime to live a dream he'd given up on and in the process opened up a new world for him, their time together in Verens only a natural continuation of that process. And now that they've become romantically involved it's inevitably stirred up his selfish and possessive side.
It's fine if it's with Emerald...because Emerald belongs to Mayuzumi too. But beyond that special exception Mayuzumi wants to monopolize Akashi, wants to be the center of Akashi's entire world, wants Akashi to be looking at nobody else but him and thinking of nobody else but him, and if he could have he would've greedily hoarded the chance to take Akashi's first kiss and Akashi's first time all to himself. He sure as hell wants to be the first guy Akashi has sex with.
If he could have he would've made sure Akashi fell for him first, too.
But it's not something that can be changed; when it was only the two of them connected by the bond of their partnership the idea of dating the guy was nowhere in Mayuzumi's mind, and so he'd missed his chance back then at something he didn't know he even wanted. Miu having entered Akashi's romantic life first and Mayuzumi being the last is just the way their lives worked out. It's not even a real problem except in Mayuzumi's own mind.
Which one of us is the guy who wanted to bind our souls together again? Maybe despite his balking at the idea he understands why Akashi would feel that way more than he wants to admit. And why is he even getting worked up over this when Akashi does feel that way and wants to do something that extreme to keep them connected, anyway?
...Because the guy had wanted to do something like that with Miu, too...
He gets up with a sigh, gathering up his dishes to take to the sink; he's feeling restless and needs to actually do something instead of just sit here brooding. ]
[ It feels weird like this. Mayuzumi's gotten mad and frustrated before, but because of basketball. Akashi would offer some words then, both harsh and encouraging at the same time. He was Mayuzumi's captain, after all. He had to do those things. If tension sprung between the two of them, it was because Akashi had a goal that they both needed to meet.
Now that their relationship's become more personal, though, Akashi doesn't want Mayuzumi to be angry or frustrated. He gets up, too, snatching Mayuzumi's plate from his hands so he can be the one to bring them to the sink. Then he gets his own so he can wash both together. ]
Just sit, please. I said I'll take care of you.
[ He's not really sure how to fix Mayuzumi's mood yet, but... he'll do anything to be able to get Mayuzumi to smile at him again. And maybe get his hair ruffled, too. It's always comforting when Mayuzumi does it. ]
[ Which sounds kind of childish even to his own ears, and it makes his flush darken a little; Mayuzumi doesn't actually squabble over the dishes though, letting Akashi take them without a fight. Instead he follows Akashi to the kitchen and leans against the counter to watch the guy while he's at the sink, his arms crossed.
He might be irritated, but...he doesn't hate Akashi wanting to take care of him. He's maybe gotten used to being the one looking out for Akashi lately and he might be an independent kind of guy at heart, but it feels pretty nice being fussed over.
If anything, feeling cared for and like he's important to the guy is exactly what he wants to feel like right now, and so his frown softens into something more like a pout. ]
...Sorry.
[ He says it quietly; this really is an embarrassing situation for him and apologizing for it only makes it moreso. ]
[ Akashi looks sorry himself, but it's merely a look he gives Mayuzumi rather than apologising again. Instead, he focuses on washing the dishes and putting them on the rack next to the sink to dry once he's done. ]
What would you like to do now?
[ Quite frankly, Akashi would be fine with just watching tv together or reading a book separately while seated next to each other. In some ways, Akashi is interesting, but he himself finds interest and enjoyment in the most mundane of things. They are things that he doesn't usually get to do back in Japan, after all. ]
[ Mayuzumi doesn't answer at first; instead he steps forward and slips his arms around Akashi from behind while the guy's fussing with stacking dishes on the drying rack. It's self-serving because he's feeling kind of clingy due to those jealous feelings right now, but it's also another form of apology for being difficult after they'd already had a disagreement earlier. ]
...I guess I wouldn't mind reading together, but...not like before. I want you close to me.
[ He won't be satisfied reading together the way they did sometimes in Verens, where they'd just share the room comfortably in the way that friends do. Now he's trying to say that he wants Akashi cuddled up to him for it, but without actually using that embarrassing word. ]
[ The hairs on Akashi's body stand up when Mayuzumi hugs him. It's still a little nervewracking when Mayuzumi touches him. He's not nervous when it's with Emerald, but this is new. He at least relaxes a second later, but he says nothing regarding his tension. It's probably obvious enough... he doesn't need to say anything. ]
Did you bring something to read?
[ Akashi has books, too, but Mayuzumi's more into reading (trash) than he is. He waits for an answer before offering his suggestion, leaning back against Mayuzumi and tilting his head to the side a little so he can look at him. ]
[ Which is probably a tell of just how unsettled and concerned Mayuzumi was by their earlier conversation on the network, because it's kind of unusual for him to step out of his apartment without a volume on him.
Something else Mayuzumi picks up on is Akashi's posture stiffening when he embraces the guy, which he supposes is...natural. Akashi still isn't used to being held by another guy like this, probably. Or maybe it's because it's Mayuzumi specifically who's doing it, even.
Either way, he debates whether he should back off, but Akashi leaning into it makes him decide against it. If the guy isn't used to being hugged by him, that just means Mayuzumi needs to hug him more to get Akashi used to it, right? ]
You already have an idea of what I like, so I'm sure you can suggest something.
... I was saving it for a more special occasion, but I bought some books for you.
[ That is to say, he means to give it to him on a date or something because they've never gone on one... but this is fine too, he guesses. He moves Mayuzumi's hands away but only so he can take one and pull him up to his "bedroom" which is just up his loft apartment. There's no door or anything, but what's above the living and dining area is where he sleeps. It's tidy, as expected from Akashi.
He lets go of Mayuzumi so he can check one of the cabinets, then he pulls out a short stack of books, all light novels. There are about three of them - the second to fourth volumes of the series that Akashi gave him when they were in Amegahara. ]
I suppose I'll get you something else for next time.
[ There's something else from Amegahara that he's yet to give. A ring. It's definitely a little too early for that. ]
[ Mayuzumi does glance around the loft bedroom a bit, but his attention's drawn to the books Akashi pulls out pretty quickly. ]
...Ah, you...really went out of your way to get me these?
[ He can't deny he's pretty happy that Akashi wanted to surprise him with a gift, a little pink flushing into his cheeks from realizing that the guy was thinking of him enough back then to pick these up.
There's a present of his own that Mayuzumi's been holding onto since their visit to Amegahara, a bracelet that matches the necklace he gave to Emerald when they returned; it's the sort of thing that's meant as a gift to give the guy after taking him on a proper date, something Mayuzumi has yet to do but intends to. He wants Akashi to feel equally special to him and all, since he'd also gone that far with Emerald.
...Even if these relationships are progressing at different rates, but that's also fine; there's a lot between him and Akashi that they still need to feel out and become comfortable with as lovers rather than just friends, as their disagreements today kind of prove.
He rubs the back of his neck, feeling a little awkward but not in a bad way; if Akashi was trying to figure out a way to soften Mayuzumi's jealous feelings, he hit on a pretty successful method. ]
Thanks. The first one was pretty good, so I wouldn't mind checking out the rest.
I don't think I perfectly know your taste just yet, but I thought you might be interested in what happens next.
[ He does consider Mayuzumi very often. He's the mom-type that way, but more importantly, Mayuzumi's almost always in his thoughts, the same way Emerald is.
Even if they aren't with him, he thinks about them and considers their preferences before making any decisions of his own. They're his priority now—the most important people in his life. ]
Would you like to read the second volume together?
And I am interested, really. I mean...it shouldn't be too hard for you to figure out what I think of this particular trope if we're talking about my tastes.
[ Namely, a cute kouhai that longs to be the center of their senpai's attention. Akashi has to know how Mayuzumi feels about something like that by now, especially after what happened in Amegahara after Akashi gave him the first volume...
He glances off to the side...which means his gaze is focused on Akashi's bed. ]
So...did you want to read together on the couch downstairs?
Or up here?
[ It occurs to him Akashi might've maneuvered them both up here on purpose just so Mayuzumi would be in an easier position to ask that question and get them in bed together for some literary cuddling. Regardless of whether that's actually the case or not, he won't shirk from trying to complete this particular play. ]
Oh. [ He'd assumed that they could read in bed. Akashi can switch off the lights downstairs from where they are now, so they don't have to worry about going down. ] It's more convenient here, isn't it?
[ But he'll throw the decision-making Mayuzumi's way.
Then again, he's not going to be doing much of the reading. He's going to be admiring. ]
[ If the guy's leaving it up to him, of course Mayuzumi's going to go for it. He might not always say it in so many words like he has tonight, but even if that whole soulbonding thing isn't something he's prepared to tackle he still does really want to be close to Akashi, and when that jealousy's still lingering in the back of his mind, albeit more subdued now, he wants it even more. ]
So we might as well get comfortable.
[ And he does, getting into bed and propping himself up against the headboard and pillows, volume in hand. There's plenty of room beside him for Akashi to cuddle up, and the way he drapes his other arm over the pillows at his side rather than closing his posture off is silently inviting the guy to take advantage of the opportunity to snuggle in close. ]
[ Akashi's smile brightens when he gets the go-signal to get comfy. He sits down on the edge of the bed to remove his shoes before moving backwards. It's only then that he slowly lays himself down next to Mayuzumi. His eyes are curious, almost a little unsure, but he's mostly looking at Mayuzumi the way he does because he's admiring him. ]
[ Mayuzumi's focused on the book at first, his expression growing thoughtful as he reads through the first few pages. It's the same calm kind of look Mayuzumi would have when spending his free time reading on the Rakuzan rooftop; an unguarded face with a slight smile that Akashi might have glimpsed sometime if he'd ever paused at the stairwell's door to observe before stepping out to make his presence known, and one that would evaporate into an irritated frown the second he did.
But that scowl isn't anywhere in sight now; as frustrating as Akashi can be to handle at times the guy isn't an irritating and unwanted intruder upon Mayuzumi's life anymore, but someone Mayuzumi's invited into his life, his confidence, and his heart. Despite how difficult to read Mayuzumi sometimes might be, maybe he's a simple kind of guy after all, if having someone he loves close by because they want to spend time with him makes him satisfied and content.
...Although, he can't necessarily say he's fully relaxed right now, because there's a definite tension to having Akashi within an intimate distance, especially when he realizes the guy's just watching him with an open kind of curiosity.
Cute... As cute as the lively smile the guy gave him when he'd assented to this. ]
...I thought we were going to read together. Are you just gonna watch me?
[ His voice is soft when he says it, like the brush of his free hand through Akashi's hair.
Because he doesn't dislike being the center of Akashi's attention at all; if anything, he isn't fully admitting just how much he wants to be... ]
[ Akashi laughs softly before he inches closer, resting his chin just above Mayuzumi's shoulder. It's enough for him to be able to read the book, but right now, he isn't all that interested in reading right now. He just wants to be close. The Chroma being generated from this is... nice—enticing, even. But for Mayuzumi's sake, he'll read with Mayuzumi a little.
Though it's after a page or two that's flipped that Akashi huddles even closer, lips already touching Mayuzumi's neck. He puts his arm around Mayuzumi's chest, getting even more comfortable in his position. Is he doing this on purpose? Maybe a little, especially when the part they're at now talks about the freshman getting jealous because everybody likes the student council president. Akashi can't help but feel like he has to make a move. ]
Mayuzumi-san, [ his voice is soft like a whisper. Whatever he says is purely just for the person he's with tonight. ] don't be jealous anymore.
[ Mayuzumi inhales quietly thanks to the brush of Akashi's mouth on his skin and the heat of Akashi's breath; Akashi will probably feel Mayuzumi's pulse accelerating there. While having the guy snuggled up close to him is precisely what Mayuzumi wants, this particular position is definitely making it harder for him to focus on the book, especially after what Akashi says. ]
...Akashi...
[ But the actions Mayuzumi takes are encouraging ones; wrapping his arm around Akashi to cradle the guy against his chest, and the subtle tilt of his chin that leaves his throat even more exposed to Akashi's lips.
It's embarrassing to say it, enough that his face heats up again, but he finally gets the words out, gaze focusing in on the book in front of him even if he isn't reading it anymore. ]
[ Mayuzumi will be able to feel Akashi's lips curl into a smile before he moves closer, placing a braver and firmer kiss to the side of Mayuzumi's throat. He's snuggled in closer, their warmth practically interchangeable by now. ]
Just continue reading.
[ Akashi thinks they're close enough, but he does want Mayuzumi's mood to lighten up a little. Even if they're not dating, he'd like Mayuzumi to be happy. So in this instance? Maybe pleasuring Mayuzumi a little would make the guy happy. He did mention having sex earlier...
His hand dips down to the edge of Mayuzumi's shirt, just enough for his hand to slither in and under. He's never really had the courage to touch Mayuzumi like this, but he wants to now. He's determined. Any other time, he'd likely be a bit more hesitant. ]
I won't interrupt.
[ He places another kiss to Mayuzumi's neck, wetter now than before. While that's happening, his hand rubs against Mayuzumi's chest. Upwards and ever so slowly, spreading his heat on Mayuzumi.
[ How is this anything other than interrupting?! Mayuzumi might like to read a lot, but even he isn't so much of a bookworm that he can simply ignore what the guy's doing to him.
Not that he has any complaints about Akashi distracting him this way, even if it's leaving him flustered. Akashi's lips and the hand he's slipped under Mayuzumi's shirt feel like they're trailing fire over his skin, but what's affecting Mayuzumi even more is the guy being more aggressive than before. He shifts beneath Akashi's touch in what's really a controlled form of squirming, breath catching from the second kiss to his throat. ]
Are you sure reading's really what you...ah, have in mind for me right now?
[ But it's clear Mayuzumi isn't paying any attention to the book at this time. Akashi doesn't mind, but he did want for Mayuzumi to continue reading. Mayuzumi won't have to do anything.
The tip of his middle finger brushes against Mayuzumi's nipple from under his shirt. A few seconds pass and it does it again. He's not really sure how to touch another guy, but he thinks this is a pretty sensitive area regardless. ]
[ ...Isn't this like some kind of play? Mayuzumi isn't crazy to think it's definitely a little out of the norm for Akashi to actually want him to read while touching him like this, is he? This seems a little...kinky to him, and he didn't expect Akashi to be keen on something like that, frankly.
But it's also kind of making his heart thump a bit faster; while he actually would be more than just fine with tossing the novel in his hands aside to enjoy later and focus on kissing Akashi now instead, he can't help but be curious as to just what Akashi might do if he does play along.
Akashi's finger teasing his nipple isn't exactly dissuading either, any more than the lips close to his throat do; the second touch does make a quiet sound sneak up out of his mouth despite his attempts to hold it back.
...Well. He supposes if Akashi ideally wants him to keep his attention on the book while spoiling him with lots of attention...he...can do that. He's been disagreeable twice over today and all, he can surely make it up to the guy by accommodating this kind of whim. Especially when it's also satisfying his jealous streak to have Akashi this focused on him.
So he lifts the volume up closer to his face and directs his attention back to it. ]
...No, it's fine. I'll read.
[ Or at least he'll do his best to simulate reading, anyway, as he's still not sure he can genuinely keep track of what's going on in the chapter while Akashi's touching him. ]
[ Mayuzumi doesn't have to worry about anything, or anyone, for that matter. He was getting worked up over someone who isn't even here. At least, that they know of, anyway. And even then, it's not a relationship Akashi is looking to build again romantically. He'd like to be Miu's friend for sure, to look out for her when he can, but after how he felt- being left behind and betrayed, he doesn't think he could love her again.
But Mayuzumi has always been there. Mayuzumi has done so much for him. Despite what Mayuzumi's gone through because of him, he's still there. Akashi doesn't ever want to take Mayuzumi for granted ever again, and his affection bleeds through every open-mouthed kiss he places on the other boy's neck, his cheek, his ear... all the while his hand moves to the other side of Mayuzumi's chest, giving his other nipple some brief attention. The intention is to tease before he slinks his hands downwards until they've slipped beneath the trousers. ]
[ Mayuzumi's having trouble focusing on the chapter's content to the extent that he'd probably fail miserably if Akashi quizzed him on it; but there's one thing that stands out, piercing the haze of pleasant sensation overtaking him from the guy's hand tracing down over his abs and the heat of Akashi's mouth moving over his skin.
Namely, a heart pounding moment in the school library, where the despondent young kouhai has a close encounter with their senpai crush that Mayuzumi realizes all at once reminds him of the first time he kissed Akashi against his apartment door. Sure, in the story it's a hand that quiets the kouhai down rather than a kiss so the student council president can escape the attention of a particularly persistent group of admirers, but the position and intimacy of the moment aren't so different.
The memory of himself and Akashi that comes to mind blurs into the story's scene as well as what's happening right now; his hand on Akashi's shoulders slides lower on the guy's body, caressing encouragement along Akashi's side even as he makes a show of keeping his eyes on the page in front of him.
He swallows, and when he speaks he sounds a little breathless to his own ears. ]
Ah, yeah, it's...pretty great.
[ Is he really referring to the book, though?
He's seriously starting to feel hot right now, and it's visible in his face. The sensation of Akashi's mouth is really nice as it is, but that needy side of himself that created friction between them earlier's a little greedy, and it makes him say something else a little more quietly. ]
...You can leave a mark, if you want.
I don't mind if everyone sees it.
[ Because it's a kind of possessiveness that flows both ways. Leaving marks that 'prove' that Emerald and Akashi really belong to him satisfies him, but it's also thrilling to have them illustrate their own desires to possess him in the same unmistakably physical way. They belong to him, and he belongs to them both, and he likes the idea of them asserting it as much as he does doing so himself.
He might not be ready to hand his soul over for binding yet, but he's more than prepared to offer up his body for some kiss marks... ]
[ Akashi asks this as he cups Mayuzumi's ball over his underwear. This is definitely a little too perverted for Akashi to do, but they're behind closed doors. They're together—dating and all. They've kissed, they've made out, they've talked about sex... a little heavy petting shouldn't be out of the norm. :)
Though the game Akashi's playing probably isn't fair. ]
I want to know what happens, too.
[ He doesn't verbally respond to Mayuzumi saying he's fine with being marked, but Akashi responds in kind. To him, it's not showing Mayuzumi belongs to Akashi, but it's more like he can pleasure Mayuzumi so much that people can see. When he kisses the crook of Mayuzumi's neck and then starts sucking on it, adding some teeth in between, it's done because he wants to share that he and Mayuzumi have gotten this far in this relationship. When Mayuzumi's getting jealous over someone who isn't here anymore and because they've gone farther than the two of them have, Akashi thinks it's a good way to show that Mayuzumi is important to him.
But the massage in his pants is also another way of showing it. He wouldn't do this with anyone else. ]
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Somehow, he didn't expect Mayuzumi to be upset about that. He's surprised and he ends up letting go of Mayuzumi. His hand hovers over the other's palm for a few seconds before Akashi retracts his arm completely. Both his hands fall to his lap and he looks down, unable to meet Mayuzumi in the eye. Not that he's looking at Akashi, anyway. ]
I'm sorry.
[ He knows it's not his fault, but... he feels the need to apologise, regardless. He doesn't really... understand the jealousy of being first or second or whatever, but. . . he's hurting Mayuzumi too because of his past with Miu. Emerald already beats herself up constantly because of how Akashi revered Miu and she'd compare herself to her. What happened when the two of them were trying to pilot a GIGA is still fresh in his mind. He doesn't want to hurt Mayuzumi, too. Emerald said she didn't want to lose any part of Akashi, though. He's not sure how to fix that now when Mayuzumi is upset, too.
If it's the topic of being ready, though, Akashi's not sure. He's honestly never thought about being ready or not. Mayuzumi's company if precious and one of the most important things in his life right now, and he does like it when they're kissing, when they're close and when he can feel Mayuzumi's heat against his skin. Admittedly, he'd thought about doing more more than once, but it happening in real life is different. He wouldn't say that Mayuzumi is eager for wanting Akashi the way he does, though. Akashi is quite flattered, and he's fine with Mayuzumi wanting him.
Akashi closes his eyes for a moment. He's thinking too much. ]
I will tell you when.
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...You don't have to apologize. Like I said, you can't change what's already happened, and it's normal to do things like that with someone you're dating.
[ Which is why he wants to do that too. But he also doesn't want Akashi to feel he has to do anything before he's ready, either. ]
It's just...frustrating, that's all.
[ There isn't actually a line but Mayuzumi still feels like he's on the end of it, somehow; the first to get close to the guy, but the last to fall for him. In a lot of ways Akashi became the most important person in Mayuzumi's life since that initial rooftop encounter back at Rakuzan, until he met Emerald and that particular place within him grew to hold two people. The guy gave him the chance of a lifetime to live a dream he'd given up on and in the process opened up a new world for him, their time together in Verens only a natural continuation of that process. And now that they've become romantically involved it's inevitably stirred up his selfish and possessive side.
It's fine if it's with Emerald...because Emerald belongs to Mayuzumi too. But beyond that special exception Mayuzumi wants to monopolize Akashi, wants to be the center of Akashi's entire world, wants Akashi to be looking at nobody else but him and thinking of nobody else but him, and if he could have he would've greedily hoarded the chance to take Akashi's first kiss and Akashi's first time all to himself. He sure as hell wants to be the first guy Akashi has sex with.
If he could have he would've made sure Akashi fell for him first, too.
But it's not something that can be changed; when it was only the two of them connected by the bond of their partnership the idea of dating the guy was nowhere in Mayuzumi's mind, and so he'd missed his chance back then at something he didn't know he even wanted. Miu having entered Akashi's romantic life first and Mayuzumi being the last is just the way their lives worked out. It's not even a real problem except in Mayuzumi's own mind.
Which one of us is the guy who wanted to bind our souls together again? Maybe despite his balking at the idea he understands why Akashi would feel that way more than he wants to admit. And why is he even getting worked up over this when Akashi does feel that way and wants to do something that extreme to keep them connected, anyway?
...Because the guy had wanted to do something like that with Miu, too...
He gets up with a sigh, gathering up his dishes to take to the sink; he's feeling restless and needs to actually do something instead of just sit here brooding. ]
Come on, I'll clean up.
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Now that their relationship's become more personal, though, Akashi doesn't want Mayuzumi to be angry or frustrated. He gets up, too, snatching Mayuzumi's plate from his hands so he can be the one to bring them to the sink. Then he gets his own so he can wash both together. ]
Just sit, please. I said I'll take care of you.
[ He's not really sure how to fix Mayuzumi's mood yet, but... he'll do anything to be able to get Mayuzumi to smile at him again. And maybe get his hair ruffled, too. It's always comforting when Mayuzumi does it. ]
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I don't want to sit.
[ Which sounds kind of childish even to his own ears, and it makes his flush darken a little; Mayuzumi doesn't actually squabble over the dishes though, letting Akashi take them without a fight. Instead he follows Akashi to the kitchen and leans against the counter to watch the guy while he's at the sink, his arms crossed.
He might be irritated, but...he doesn't hate Akashi wanting to take care of him. He's maybe gotten used to being the one looking out for Akashi lately and he might be an independent kind of guy at heart, but it feels pretty nice being fussed over.
If anything, feeling cared for and like he's important to the guy is exactly what he wants to feel like right now, and so his frown softens into something more like a pout. ]
...Sorry.
[ He says it quietly; this really is an embarrassing situation for him and apologizing for it only makes it moreso. ]
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What would you like to do now?
[ Quite frankly, Akashi would be fine with just watching tv together or reading a book separately while seated next to each other. In some ways, Akashi is interesting, but he himself finds interest and enjoyment in the most mundane of things. They are things that he doesn't usually get to do back in Japan, after all. ]
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...I guess I wouldn't mind reading together, but...not like before. I want you close to me.
[ He won't be satisfied reading together the way they did sometimes in Verens, where they'd just share the room comfortably in the way that friends do. Now he's trying to say that he wants Akashi cuddled up to him for it, but without actually using that embarrassing word. ]
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Did you bring something to read?
[ Akashi has books, too, but Mayuzumi's more into reading (trash) than he is. He waits for an answer before offering his suggestion, leaning back against Mayuzumi and tilting his head to the side a little so he can look at him. ]
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[ Which is probably a tell of just how unsettled and concerned Mayuzumi was by their earlier conversation on the network, because it's kind of unusual for him to step out of his apartment without a volume on him.
Something else Mayuzumi picks up on is Akashi's posture stiffening when he embraces the guy, which he supposes is...natural. Akashi still isn't used to being held by another guy like this, probably. Or maybe it's because it's Mayuzumi specifically who's doing it, even.
Either way, he debates whether he should back off, but Akashi leaning into it makes him decide against it. If the guy isn't used to being hugged by him, that just means Mayuzumi needs to hug him more to get Akashi used to it, right? ]
You already have an idea of what I like, so I'm sure you can suggest something.
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[ That is to say, he means to give it to him on a date or something because they've never gone on one... but this is fine too, he guesses. He moves Mayuzumi's hands away but only so he can take one and pull him up to his "bedroom" which is just up his loft apartment. There's no door or anything, but what's above the living and dining area is where he sleeps. It's tidy, as expected from Akashi.
He lets go of Mayuzumi so he can check one of the cabinets, then he pulls out a short stack of books, all light novels. There are about three of them - the second to fourth volumes of the series that Akashi gave him when they were in Amegahara. ]
I suppose I'll get you something else for next time.
[ There's something else from Amegahara that he's yet to give. A ring. It's definitely a little too early for that. ]
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...Ah, you...really went out of your way to get me these?
[ He can't deny he's pretty happy that Akashi wanted to surprise him with a gift, a little pink flushing into his cheeks from realizing that the guy was thinking of him enough back then to pick these up.
There's a present of his own that Mayuzumi's been holding onto since their visit to Amegahara, a bracelet that matches the necklace he gave to Emerald when they returned; it's the sort of thing that's meant as a gift to give the guy after taking him on a proper date, something Mayuzumi has yet to do but intends to. He wants Akashi to feel equally special to him and all, since he'd also gone that far with Emerald.
...Even if these relationships are progressing at different rates, but that's also fine; there's a lot between him and Akashi that they still need to feel out and become comfortable with as lovers rather than just friends, as their disagreements today kind of prove.
He rubs the back of his neck, feeling a little awkward but not in a bad way; if Akashi was trying to figure out a way to soften Mayuzumi's jealous feelings, he hit on a pretty successful method. ]
Thanks. The first one was pretty good, so I wouldn't mind checking out the rest.
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[ He does consider Mayuzumi very often. He's the mom-type that way, but more importantly, Mayuzumi's almost always in his thoughts, the same way Emerald is.
Even if they aren't with him, he thinks about them and considers their preferences before making any decisions of his own. They're his priority now—the most important people in his life. ]
Would you like to read the second volume together?
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And I am interested, really. I mean...it shouldn't be too hard for you to figure out what I think of this particular trope if we're talking about my tastes.
[ Namely, a cute kouhai that longs to be the center of their senpai's attention. Akashi has to know how Mayuzumi feels about something like that by now, especially after what happened in Amegahara after Akashi gave him the first volume...
He glances off to the side...which means his gaze is focused on Akashi's bed. ]
So...did you want to read together on the couch downstairs?
Or up here?
[ It occurs to him Akashi might've maneuvered them both up here on purpose just so Mayuzumi would be in an easier position to ask that question and get them in bed together for some literary cuddling. Regardless of whether that's actually the case or not, he won't shirk from trying to complete this particular play. ]
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[ But he'll throw the decision-making Mayuzumi's way.
Then again, he's not going to be doing much of the reading. He's going to be admiring. ]
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[ If the guy's leaving it up to him, of course Mayuzumi's going to go for it. He might not always say it in so many words like he has tonight, but even if that whole soulbonding thing isn't something he's prepared to tackle he still does really want to be close to Akashi, and when that jealousy's still lingering in the back of his mind, albeit more subdued now, he wants it even more. ]
So we might as well get comfortable.
[ And he does, getting into bed and propping himself up against the headboard and pillows, volume in hand. There's plenty of room beside him for Akashi to cuddle up, and the way he drapes his other arm over the pillows at his side rather than closing his posture off is silently inviting the guy to take advantage of the opportunity to snuggle in close. ]
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But that scowl isn't anywhere in sight now; as frustrating as Akashi can be to handle at times the guy isn't an irritating and unwanted intruder upon Mayuzumi's life anymore, but someone Mayuzumi's invited into his life, his confidence, and his heart. Despite how difficult to read Mayuzumi sometimes might be, maybe he's a simple kind of guy after all, if having someone he loves close by because they want to spend time with him makes him satisfied and content.
...Although, he can't necessarily say he's fully relaxed right now, because there's a definite tension to having Akashi within an intimate distance, especially when he realizes the guy's just watching him with an open kind of curiosity.
Cute... As cute as the lively smile the guy gave him when he'd assented to this. ]
...I thought we were going to read together. Are you just gonna watch me?
[ His voice is soft when he says it, like the brush of his free hand through Akashi's hair.
Because he doesn't dislike being the center of Akashi's attention at all; if anything, he isn't fully admitting just how much he wants to be... ]
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[ Akashi laughs softly before he inches closer, resting his chin just above Mayuzumi's shoulder. It's enough for him to be able to read the book, but right now, he isn't all that interested in reading right now. He just wants to be close. The Chroma being generated from this is... nice—enticing, even. But for Mayuzumi's sake, he'll read with Mayuzumi a little.
Though it's after a page or two that's flipped that Akashi huddles even closer, lips already touching Mayuzumi's neck. He puts his arm around Mayuzumi's chest, getting even more comfortable in his position. Is he doing this on purpose? Maybe a little, especially when the part they're at now talks about the freshman getting jealous because everybody likes the student council president. Akashi can't help but feel like he has to make a move. ]
Mayuzumi-san, [ his voice is soft like a whisper. Whatever he says is purely just for the person he's with tonight. ] don't be jealous anymore.
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...Akashi...
[ But the actions Mayuzumi takes are encouraging ones; wrapping his arm around Akashi to cradle the guy against his chest, and the subtle tilt of his chin that leaves his throat even more exposed to Akashi's lips.
It's embarrassing to say it, enough that his face heats up again, but he finally gets the words out, gaze focusing in on the book in front of him even if he isn't reading it anymore. ]
...Stay close to me, and I won't be.
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Just continue reading.
[ Akashi thinks they're close enough, but he does want Mayuzumi's mood to lighten up a little. Even if they're not dating, he'd like Mayuzumi to be happy. So in this instance? Maybe pleasuring Mayuzumi a little would make the guy happy. He did mention having sex earlier...
His hand dips down to the edge of Mayuzumi's shirt, just enough for his hand to slither in and under. He's never really had the courage to touch Mayuzumi like this, but he wants to now. He's determined. Any other time, he'd likely be a bit more hesitant. ]
I won't interrupt.
[ He places another kiss to Mayuzumi's neck, wetter now than before. While that's happening, his hand rubs against Mayuzumi's chest. Upwards and ever so slowly, spreading his heat on Mayuzumi.
Definitely not interrupting. ]
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Not that he has any complaints about Akashi distracting him this way, even if it's leaving him flustered. Akashi's lips and the hand he's slipped under Mayuzumi's shirt feel like they're trailing fire over his skin, but what's affecting Mayuzumi even more is the guy being more aggressive than before. He shifts beneath Akashi's touch in what's really a controlled form of squirming, breath catching from the second kiss to his throat. ]
Are you sure reading's really what you...ah, have in mind for me right now?
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[ But it's clear Mayuzumi isn't paying any attention to the book at this time. Akashi doesn't mind, but he did want for Mayuzumi to continue reading. Mayuzumi won't have to do anything.
The tip of his middle finger brushes against Mayuzumi's nipple from under his shirt. A few seconds pass and it does it again. He's not really sure how to touch another guy, but he thinks this is a pretty sensitive area regardless. ]
If you won't read, then you can kiss me.
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But it's also kind of making his heart thump a bit faster; while he actually would be more than just fine with tossing the novel in his hands aside to enjoy later and focus on kissing Akashi now instead, he can't help but be curious as to just what Akashi might do if he does play along.
Akashi's finger teasing his nipple isn't exactly dissuading either, any more than the lips close to his throat do; the second touch does make a quiet sound sneak up out of his mouth despite his attempts to hold it back.
...Well. He supposes if Akashi ideally wants him to keep his attention on the book while spoiling him with lots of attention...he...can do that. He's been disagreeable twice over today and all, he can surely make it up to the guy by accommodating this kind of whim. Especially when it's also satisfying his jealous streak to have Akashi this focused on him.
So he lifts the volume up closer to his face and directs his attention back to it. ]
...No, it's fine. I'll read.
[ Or at least he'll do his best to simulate reading, anyway, as he's still not sure he can genuinely keep track of what's going on in the chapter while Akashi's touching him. ]
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[ Mayuzumi doesn't have to worry about anything, or anyone, for that matter. He was getting worked up over someone who isn't even here. At least, that they know of, anyway. And even then, it's not a relationship Akashi is looking to build again romantically. He'd like to be Miu's friend for sure, to look out for her when he can, but after how he felt- being left behind and betrayed, he doesn't think he could love her again.
But Mayuzumi has always been there. Mayuzumi has done so much for him. Despite what Mayuzumi's gone through because of him, he's still there. Akashi doesn't ever want to take Mayuzumi for granted ever again, and his affection bleeds through every open-mouthed kiss he places on the other boy's neck, his cheek, his ear... all the while his hand moves to the other side of Mayuzumi's chest, giving his other nipple some brief attention. The intention is to tease before he slinks his hands downwards until they've slipped beneath the trousers. ]
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Namely, a heart pounding moment in the school library, where the despondent young kouhai has a close encounter with their senpai crush that Mayuzumi realizes all at once reminds him of the first time he kissed Akashi against his apartment door. Sure, in the story it's a hand that quiets the kouhai down rather than a kiss so the student council president can escape the attention of a particularly persistent group of admirers, but the position and intimacy of the moment aren't so different.
The memory of himself and Akashi that comes to mind blurs into the story's scene as well as what's happening right now; his hand on Akashi's shoulders slides lower on the guy's body, caressing encouragement along Akashi's side even as he makes a show of keeping his eyes on the page in front of him.
He swallows, and when he speaks he sounds a little breathless to his own ears. ]
Ah, yeah, it's...pretty great.
[ Is he really referring to the book, though?
He's seriously starting to feel hot right now, and it's visible in his face. The sensation of Akashi's mouth is really nice as it is, but that needy side of himself that created friction between them earlier's a little greedy, and it makes him say something else a little more quietly. ]
...You can leave a mark, if you want.
I don't mind if everyone sees it.
[ Because it's a kind of possessiveness that flows both ways. Leaving marks that 'prove' that Emerald and Akashi really belong to him satisfies him, but it's also thrilling to have them illustrate their own desires to possess him in the same unmistakably physical way. They belong to him, and he belongs to them both, and he likes the idea of them asserting it as much as he does doing so himself.
He might not be ready to hand his soul over for binding yet, but he's more than prepared to offer up his body for some kiss marks... ]
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[ Akashi asks this as he cups Mayuzumi's ball over his underwear. This is definitely a little too perverted for Akashi to do, but they're behind closed doors. They're together—dating and all. They've kissed, they've made out, they've talked about sex... a little heavy petting shouldn't be out of the norm. :)
Though the game Akashi's playing probably isn't fair. ]
I want to know what happens, too.
[ He doesn't verbally respond to Mayuzumi saying he's fine with being marked, but Akashi responds in kind. To him, it's not showing Mayuzumi belongs to Akashi, but it's more like he can pleasure Mayuzumi so much that people can see. When he kisses the crook of Mayuzumi's neck and then starts sucking on it, adding some teeth in between, it's done because he wants to share that he and Mayuzumi have gotten this far in this relationship. When Mayuzumi's getting jealous over someone who isn't here anymore and because they've gone farther than the two of them have, Akashi thinks it's a good way to show that Mayuzumi is important to him.
But the massage in his pants is also another way of showing it. He wouldn't do this with anyone else. ]