[ The physical reaction Emerald has to his words is probably not the reaction that Akashi is looking for. She looks like she's shrinking her shoulders a little, withdrawing physically almost as if a reflection of how she's feeling right now. She doesn't care if he hurts her. He can hurt her all he wants. It's what he said, that he broke her trust and her belief in him that's hurting so much. He hasn't said that he takes it back, that he was wrong. Just that he said it without thinking. ]
You promised me you weren't going to leave me, then at the first sign of conflict you threatened to. I've been preparing to completely abandon everything I know, turn my back on Cinder and run from someone so powerful she's worshipped as a goddess, to follow you and Chihiro to a place I can't even form a sentence of the language. I've literally ruined my life because I wanted to be with you and somehow that isn't enough.
[ Both of her fists grip at her sides. She's obviously hurt, but that anger flares up way more easily than it used to now. It isn't quite volatile, but she's certainly got a choleric tinge to her words. Her eyes narrow and her brows furrow as if she's trying to decide exactly what to tell him off for. ]
I don't care that you hurt me. I don't care that you said something thoughtlessly! I don't even care all that much if you hate Mercury anymore. What I do care about is that your word means that little to you and that your "apology" is because I'm upset, not because you think you were wrong.
[ He almost looks worried when Mayuzumi leaves, especially now that he's said a part of his piece and the ball is in Emerald's court. Especially now that Emerald's speaking and she's not at all happy with what he said.
He wants more time to think, to properly figure out what to say. Maybe he really should have gone with what he was thinking of, because had he said everything he wanted to say without chopping things up, saying them with pacing, then...
Well, he doesn't know. It could still end up like this, anyway. ]
I do think that - that I was wrong. There were a lot of things I didn't consider, and I also didn't listen to you. [ And he honestly wouldn't have considered that he was wrong if not for Mayuzumi. That part, he doesn't mention. ] I'd like to apologise for that, too.
I broke your trust. [ He pauses, head lifting a little so he can look at her and what she's doing and try to see how she's feeling. He isn't just saying this to please Emerald. He really does want to make things right. He's just not good at apologies, even though he's supposedly good at everything. ] But if you'd let me, I'd like to request for another chance.
[ She stays quiet for a moment, as if she's trying to think of what she wants to say to that. Her hackles lower just a bit, though, and the spice dissipates from her tone. She glances over to see where Mayuzumi went, as if she wants him back too, as if to act as a buffer in case Akashi doesn't like what she has to say next.
She wants to say yes, she'll give him as many chances as he wants, just please promise her that he's not going to leave. But Mayuzumi pointed out to her what it was, and Mercury got up in arms hearing about it too. Akashi was trying to bully her into doing what he wanted. It was scary to stand up to him, knowing full-well that she's telling him she's refusing his choice, but their relationship wasn't.. supposed to be that kind of relationship. He wasn't her boss, or her savior. He was her boyfriend-- her lover. And if she didn't put her foot down now, he wouldn't be able to trust her to speak up when he went too far either. ]
I was with Mercury just now. He took back what he said and said he wouldn't joke like that again, nor did he mean it in the first place. I get mad at him all the time because he likes to press my buttons when I try to press his, he just always takes it too far and I need to cool down sometimes. He even said he'd send you an apology card if I wanted and I told him not to because it would be sarcastic, but the fact that he would've tried to make it up to me is why no matter how mad and reactive I get, I know he's always got my back. You know he agreed for me to tell Jaune about Salem back in Verens, despite knowing that his knowledge could get him killed for us just for knowing and telling me it was okay. I'm not choosing between you two.
[ That's not a question, that's a statement. She wants to know what Akashi thinks of it though, before she lets herself jump at the second chance. Even if she's trying to sound firm now, it almost sounds like there's an undertone of hope and expectation. She did what she could, and Mercury took it back and promised not to hurt them, and they made up. She did her part to make this better, to help Akashi feel better, even when she didn't know if he would apologize even if Mayuzumi dragged him back by his ear to do so. ]
[ He still doesn't understand how something like that is forgivable, but there are a lot of things he doesn't understand about Mercury and Emerald's. . . relationship. Maybe they just do things a lot rougher than what Akashi is used to because that's what they're used to. It's a world Akashi won't ever get to traverse, and even if given the chance, he likely won't walk that path just to be able to see it.
But Mayuzumi was the one who brought it up, though. Akashi just has to trust Emerald to fix things. He doesn't have to be the one who has to fix things constantly, and he's... right. This isn't supposed to be a one way street. Emerald has to be able to do things for herself, too. Emerald should be able to have her say, too. It's one of those things Akashi's failed to consider and that's why he said what he said in the first place. ]
I shouldn't have made you choose in the first place. That wasn't fair to you.
[ Or to Mercury, but he's not going to apologise to him. He doesn't want to have anything to do with Mercury. He'll accept that Emerald and he are friends—partners, even—but even if he didn't mean it when he said he'd kill Akashi and Mayuzumi, it's shaken Akashi a little too much that he's bought a bunch of locks and had it installed to his door in the short span of time between his phone call with Emerald and Mayuzumi coming to him. ]
I keep thinking you would break your promise and leave me, but I'm the one who ended up going against my own word. I spoke out of fear. I didn't mean to say what I said or do what I did. Please believe me.
[ Emerald listens quietly again, trying her best not to react to anything until she's had a moment to think. She knows it's her own reactiveness that made everything about this situation worse than it needed to be. Even if she wants to rant or complain about Mercury to Akashi, she can't do that because it scares him. There's nothing wrong with that.
But he seems to understand her side, and she's done what she can too try to make things easier for him. Emerald finally steps out of the doorway and moves to wrap her arms around him. ]
It's okay to get mad or fight or disagree, but don't leave me, okay?
[ Her voice is quiet now, soft and the desperation she's felt in wanting to just forgive him this whole time is palpable. They're going to have to make this up to Chihiro somehow, but for the moment she just wants to hold Seijuro and not let go. ]
[ It's as if Akashi had just been waiting for a sign that it's okay to hold Emerald, because as soon as her arms are around him, he hugs her tight and buries his face on the crook of her neck. The scared kid that's a part of Akashi that he always tries to protect comes out and he starts sobbing the moment they aren't face to face anymore. ]
I didn't mean it, Emerald. [ He said a lot of hurtful things without thinking and he's an idiot and he's crying because he didn't mean it and he doesn't want to hurt her. His voice is hushed, mostly because of the sobs, and he holds her tighter because he doesn't want to let go. ] I'm sorry.
[ He'll say it as many times as needed. Even more until Emerald gets sick of it. ]
[ ... That's a sign of a agreement that they have to go to Mayuzumi, but he is also a little hesitant to let go just yet. ]
I love you.
[ When he finally lets go, his face is all watery thanks to his tears, but he wipes them away with his jacket sleeve. He can actually be a messy crier, so Emerald's shoulder has gotten a little bit wet, too. Sorry about that. But... he feels good. Whatever heavy feeling he'd been harbouring since that phone call is gone. There's still some guilt left, but he can actually look Emerald in the eye now.
He's a little shy in taking Emerald's hand this time around, and he's likely not going to want to initiate any contact until he's done sulking. He did something bad, so of course he's going to have a difficult time getting over it. With heat and Chroma flowing thanks to their joined hands, he leads her outside of the bedroom to where Mayuzumi might be. There's not much in the apartment, so it's pretty easy to find him. ]
[ Mayuzumi's relieved to see the two of them approach him hand in hand, even if the signs of their tears is obvious.
It's inevitable that he overheard part of their conversation, but he kept quietly out of the way regardless and waited in the living room; he'd done what he could for the both of them but ultimately they had to work through the problem between them on their own.
[ Ah, she wanted to trap him on the couch.. Oh well. Emerald holds onto Akashi's hand as they head over to Mayuzumi and chooses to sidle up to his side without letting go of Akashi's hand. In fact, she's kind of tugging Akashi so she can have both of them on either side of her if he doesn't fight it. ]
Thanks to you. We're all staying here tonight, right?
[ All three of them. She's not letting go of either of them now. ]
[ Akashi doesn't fight it. He sits down next to Emerald, but he tries not to get too close. He doesn't want to act overly familiar after he's done something wrong to her.
He doesn't voice that he doesn't think he deserves to stay over after what happened, but states another concern. ]
I don't have any other clothes with me.
[ Which is honestly an easy remedy, but... he feels the need to say it out loud anyway. ]
Well...you're...both pretty important to me, you know.
[ Indispensable at this point; as much as thinking about things in a longterm way feels so intimidating, he's starting to have a hard time picturing a life without both of them in it, happy and by his side. He might not be able to fix every problem for either of them, but if there's anything he can do to help things along, he'll do it. ]
And you can always borrow some of mine, it's fine.
[ He slips his arm around Emerald's shoulders, letting his hand brush against Akashi, encouraging the guy to come closer. ]
So...let's stay together.
[ A statement that carries more weight than just their immediate plans for the night. ]
Just skip pajamas. The building has heating, you won't get sick and I'll wash them for you.
[ Emerald is comfortable not wearing much but she knows Akashi is going to go with Mayuzumi's solution anyway. She doesn't mind hand washing if that's what he needs.
She doesn't seem too committed to it since she figures he won't accept her solution, so she closes her eyes to get comfortable. She's fine just staying right here until one of them has to do something. ]
And leave an outfit here so you can always stay with us.
[ He falls silent after that. There's not much he wants to add to the conversation. Not to mention, he's pretty tired emotionally. He doesn't really want to think or argue anymore. ]
I don't think we'll have any problems keeping warm either way, as long as we stick close to each other.
[ Indeed, like this Mayuzumi's already feeling warm, the Chroma generated from the contact between the three of them cozy as being huddled up together beneath a blanket. He hopes it'll help soothe away all the lingering stress from what's been a nerve-racking day, along with the simple comfort this kind of physical contact provides in itself.
He's more than willing to stay huddled together this way, whether on the couch or later in bed until they're all feeling calm and content once again. ]
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no subject
You promised me you weren't going to leave me, then at the first sign of conflict you threatened to. I've been preparing to completely abandon everything I know, turn my back on Cinder and run from someone so powerful she's worshipped as a goddess, to follow you and Chihiro to a place I can't even form a sentence of the language. I've literally ruined my life because I wanted to be with you and somehow that isn't enough.
[ Both of her fists grip at her sides. She's obviously hurt, but that anger flares up way more easily than it used to now. It isn't quite volatile, but she's certainly got a choleric tinge to her words. Her eyes narrow and her brows furrow as if she's trying to decide exactly what to tell him off for. ]
I don't care that you hurt me. I don't care that you said something thoughtlessly! I don't even care all that much if you hate Mercury anymore. What I do care about is that your word means that little to you and that your "apology" is because I'm upset, not because you think you were wrong.
no subject
He wants more time to think, to properly figure out what to say. Maybe he really should have gone with what he was thinking of, because had he said everything he wanted to say without chopping things up, saying them with pacing, then...
Well, he doesn't know. It could still end up like this, anyway. ]
I do think that - that I was wrong. There were a lot of things I didn't consider, and I also didn't listen to you. [ And he honestly wouldn't have considered that he was wrong if not for Mayuzumi. That part, he doesn't mention. ] I'd like to apologise for that, too.
I broke your trust. [ He pauses, head lifting a little so he can look at her and what she's doing and try to see how she's feeling. He isn't just saying this to please Emerald. He really does want to make things right. He's just not good at apologies, even though he's supposedly good at everything. ] But if you'd let me, I'd like to request for another chance.
I'll do better.
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She wants to say yes, she'll give him as many chances as he wants, just please promise her that he's not going to leave. But Mayuzumi pointed out to her what it was, and Mercury got up in arms hearing about it too. Akashi was trying to bully her into doing what he wanted. It was scary to stand up to him, knowing full-well that she's telling him she's refusing his choice, but their relationship wasn't.. supposed to be that kind of relationship. He wasn't her boss, or her savior. He was her boyfriend-- her lover. And if she didn't put her foot down now, he wouldn't be able to trust her to speak up when he went too far either. ]
I was with Mercury just now. He took back what he said and said he wouldn't joke like that again, nor did he mean it in the first place. I get mad at him all the time because he likes to press my buttons when I try to press his, he just always takes it too far and I need to cool down sometimes. He even said he'd send you an apology card if I wanted and I told him not to because it would be sarcastic, but the fact that he would've tried to make it up to me is why no matter how mad and reactive I get, I know he's always got my back. You know he agreed for me to tell Jaune about Salem back in Verens, despite knowing that his knowledge could get him killed for us just for knowing and telling me it was okay. I'm not choosing between you two.
[ That's not a question, that's a statement. She wants to know what Akashi thinks of it though, before she lets herself jump at the second chance. Even if she's trying to sound firm now, it almost sounds like there's an undertone of hope and expectation. She did what she could, and Mercury took it back and promised not to hurt them, and they made up. She did her part to make this better, to help Akashi feel better, even when she didn't know if he would apologize even if Mayuzumi dragged him back by his ear to do so. ]
no subject
But Mayuzumi was the one who brought it up, though. Akashi just has to trust Emerald to fix things. He doesn't have to be the one who has to fix things constantly, and he's... right. This isn't supposed to be a one way street. Emerald has to be able to do things for herself, too. Emerald should be able to have her say, too. It's one of those things Akashi's failed to consider and that's why he said what he said in the first place. ]
I shouldn't have made you choose in the first place. That wasn't fair to you.
[ Or to Mercury, but he's not going to apologise to him. He doesn't want to have anything to do with Mercury. He'll accept that Emerald and he are friends—partners, even—but even if he didn't mean it when he said he'd kill Akashi and Mayuzumi, it's shaken Akashi a little too much that he's bought a bunch of locks and had it installed to his door in the short span of time between his phone call with Emerald and Mayuzumi coming to him. ]
I keep thinking you would break your promise and leave me, but I'm the one who ended up going against my own word. I spoke out of fear. I didn't mean to say what I said or do what I did. Please believe me.
no subject
But he seems to understand her side, and she's done what she can too try to make things easier for him. Emerald finally steps out of the doorway and moves to wrap her arms around him. ]
It's okay to get mad or fight or disagree, but don't leave me, okay?
[ Her voice is quiet now, soft and the desperation she's felt in wanting to just forgive him this whole time is palpable. They're going to have to make this up to Chihiro somehow, but for the moment she just wants to hold Seijuro and not let go. ]
no subject
I didn't mean it, Emerald. [ He said a lot of hurtful things without thinking and he's an idiot and he's crying because he didn't mean it and he doesn't want to hurt her. His voice is hushed, mostly because of the sobs, and he holds her tighter because he doesn't want to let go. ] I'm sorry.
[ He'll say it as many times as needed. Even more until Emerald gets sick of it. ]
no subject
I love you, Seijuro.
[ Of course she forgives him. Though after a couple of seconds she does reach her arm around him to wipe her eyes. ]
Come on, we have to go thank Chihiro.
[ She's not letting go though so maybe he has to let go first or they'll have to scuffle into the room. ]
no subject
[ ... That's a sign of a agreement that they have to go to Mayuzumi, but he is also a little hesitant to let go just yet. ]
I love you.
[ When he finally lets go, his face is all watery thanks to his tears, but he wipes them away with his jacket sleeve. He can actually be a messy crier, so Emerald's shoulder has gotten a little bit wet, too. Sorry about that. But... he feels good. Whatever heavy feeling he'd been harbouring since that phone call is gone. There's still some guilt left, but he can actually look Emerald in the eye now.
He's a little shy in taking Emerald's hand this time around, and he's likely not going to want to initiate any contact until he's done sulking. He did something bad, so of course he's going to have a difficult time getting over it. With heat and Chroma flowing thanks to their joined hands, he leads her outside of the bedroom to where Mayuzumi might be. There's not much in the apartment, so it's pretty easy to find him. ]
Mayuzumi-san.
no subject
It's inevitable that he overheard part of their conversation, but he kept quietly out of the way regardless and waited in the living room; he'd done what he could for the both of them but ultimately they had to work through the problem between them on their own.
He stands up now to approach them. ]
I guess you were able to talk things out, huh.
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Thanks to you. We're all staying here tonight, right?
[ All three of them. She's not letting go of either of them now. ]
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He doesn't voice that he doesn't think he deserves to stay over after what happened, but states another concern. ]
I don't have any other clothes with me.
[ Which is honestly an easy remedy, but... he feels the need to say it out loud anyway. ]
no subject
Well...you're...both pretty important to me, you know.
[ Indispensable at this point; as much as thinking about things in a longterm way feels so intimidating, he's starting to have a hard time picturing a life without both of them in it, happy and by his side. He might not be able to fix every problem for either of them, but if there's anything he can do to help things along, he'll do it. ]
And you can always borrow some of mine, it's fine.
[ He slips his arm around Emerald's shoulders, letting his hand brush against Akashi, encouraging the guy to come closer. ]
So...let's stay together.
[ A statement that carries more weight than just their immediate plans for the night. ]
no subject
[ Emerald is comfortable not wearing much but she knows Akashi is going to go with Mayuzumi's solution anyway. She doesn't mind hand washing if that's what he needs.
She doesn't seem too committed to it since she figures he won't accept her solution, so she closes her eyes to get comfortable. She's fine just staying right here until one of them has to do something. ]
And leave an outfit here so you can always stay with us.
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[ He falls silent after that. There's not much he wants to add to the conversation. Not to mention, he's pretty tired emotionally. He doesn't really want to think or argue anymore. ]
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[ Indeed, like this Mayuzumi's already feeling warm, the Chroma generated from the contact between the three of them cozy as being huddled up together beneath a blanket. He hopes it'll help soothe away all the lingering stress from what's been a nerve-racking day, along with the simple comfort this kind of physical contact provides in itself.
He's more than willing to stay huddled together this way, whether on the couch or later in bed until they're all feeling calm and content once again. ]