[She looks up quickly and it's really the look on his face, the feelings she could feel from him before he let her go, that firmly cements the plan in her mind. She smiles a little despite herself, huffing out a humorless laugh; she turns to face him better and sit up on her knees, taking his face in her hands and pressing a kiss to his mouth. It's brief and quick, but hopefully gets the point across as she rests their foreheads together afterwards.]
...I told you before, didn't I? I'm really selfish. It's much easier to deal with loss when you don't have anything to lose. But I... I couldn't let you go if I tried. I'm sorry for worrying you. I don't want to leave you.
[ He's supposed to feel comforted but it doesn't make things better right away. Akashi's heart is racing, because he doesn't feel fear all that often, but when it does, it's there for some time. He may have recovered from his sickness, but it doesn't mean that he's fine from the trauma of seeing both his parents here even if it was just an illusion.
His mother telling him he's failure still hurts up to now, even if it's not true. When that happened, he thought that all he had was Miu, and for a moment just now, he felt that he really was going to lose her.
His shoulders are still tense when he looks at her as she holds him. ]
I'm not sure what to say. [ He really doesn't. His chest feels weird right now and his hands are shaking, so he balls them into fists. ]
... Please don't go, Hinasaki-san.
[ She already apologised but he can't help but ask this of her when the possibility of her leaving actually showed itself. He's never ever thought about it, but now, that it's brought itself on the table... well, it really can't be helped. ]
[Suddenly this closeness doesn't feel like it's nearly enough. She moves then, sliding into his lap, facing him an sliding her arms around his neck, and holds onto him, pressing a kiss to his forehead and then his hair. Comforting him to comfort herself.]
I won't. [She doesn't want to leave. Doesn't want him to leave. But she hadn't wanted Kokichi to leave either, and that lack of agency and voice shakes her.] I don't want to lose you.
[If he ever left... No, she doesn't want to think about it now. She doesn't want to face that possibility, even as she tells herself too that ignoring it won't do her any good either.
She closes her eyes.] Ouma-kun was... like family to me. When I realized he wasn't coming back, I... I thought, 'I'll be all alone again.' I completely panicked and wanted to isolate myself completely, so I wouldn't have to be hurt anymore...
[ One might call Miu's words or herself selfish, but Akashi doesn't even consider it. He thinks she's perfect even after hearing those words. What he also doesn't even consider is the fact that this kind of closeness and attachment isn't just for someone he likes. It's true that he's admitted his feelings for her that he likes her and wants to "cross over" with her, but it hasn't yet occurred to him that it's love. It still hasn't up to now, but it is.
It's basic instinct that makes his arms move and wrap themselves around Miu once again - both to balance her and both to hold her. He even pulls her close so he can feel her properly, and she'll notice how quick is pulses are. He's comforted, though, but that doesn't mean his fear's gone just yet. And it probably will be there for a while. Worry and anxiety don't exactly leave right away, after all. ]
I'm sorry. [ He says it again, this time with more meaning to it. He sympathises and empathises with the pain of losing someone, even if it's not death. Or perhaps it is, given that Ouma has nothing to go back to. And this time, it's he who kisses her. It's a reminder of what he told her at the Flower Festival. ] I'm sorry about Ouma, I truly am.
I promised you, though, that I wouldn't make you feel alone, didn't I? I swore to you... So if there's anything I can do. . .
Ah... [Miu pauses, remembering now. He had promised her such a thing, hadn't he?] That's right, you did. I remember now.
[Miu knows enough about tv shows and movies and common romance tropes to be aware that this is the kind of situation that usually leads to something a lot heavier than just cuddling on the couch. She breathes out slowly, tilting her head for another soft kiss]
This is enough. For right now... This is fine. I just need to know you're here. I want to-- I mean, can I... Can I stay here tonight? [He'd said he didn't want her to leave, but she just needs to make sure the extent of that]
[She laughs a little under her breath] That's a dangerous thing to say, Akashi-kun. What if I never want to leave again?
[One of his shirts would probably be big enough on her to practically be a nightgown...] That means having to get up though. [She doesn't wanna!! Her tone is light though, mostly joking in her attempts to lighten the situation some]
[ As if Miu wasn't close enough to him, he pulls her closer to squeeze her while she's still in his arms. Leaning forward to touch their foreheads together, he smiles at her. ]
Then don't. [ It's said softly, almost like a whisper. Part of it humouring her, part of it almost like a command, actually. ] Don't leave.
Ever? [She laughs again, rubbing her nose playfully against his, smiling despite the circumstances.]
I knew coming here was a good idea. Akashi-kun-- [A pause. Her voice lowers to a whisper] Seijuro. [His first name now, no honorifics or anything and the intimacy of it makes her shiver.]
Seijuro... [Her heart pounds, but the threat of losing him without warning spurs her on and despite her nervousness she takes a breath and continues] I love you.
[ Akashi lets out a puff of amused laughter at the "Ever?" ]
We still have to cross over together, don't we?
[ He actually means every word, and he says it not just because they're beautiful words. This world is magical and he's learned some Dunamis. If he exerts more effort into learning magic, he can find a way--at least, that's what he believes.
One arm remains wrapped around her, but the other moves to cup her cheek so he can properly kiss her. Compared to the quick kiss that she gave him earlier, Akashi's kiss to her is deep and full of emotion, but it's not a lengthy kiss or anything.
When he pulls away, he can't help but kiss her again, a short and sweet one this time. The lights around them begin to change to warmer colours, even dimming more until it's just the light from Akashi's crystal (which he keeps hidden under his shirt) that's glowing a bright Piphron-y blue. ]
Oh. [She breathes out, closing her eyes as she returns the kiss, more passionate than before as her happiness and love mixes with Akashi's. Little sparkles pop around the room like mini-fireworks.
Embarrassing. But she doesn't mind, smiling widely.] You called me by name too. I love you, I love you-- Haha. I could say it over and over again.
[Her hand reaches up to place over his hand, pulling it away so she can link their fingers together.] ...Do you mean it? About crossing over with me.
Take your time. [she smiles lightly, rubbing her thumb over his hand where they're joined.]
...Where I'm from, there's a ritual called yuukon, or 'ghost marriage.' Originally it was used for a... slightly darker reason, but the main purpose still stands. It's about tying two souls together so they can be together in the afterlife.
Probably not. [She admits a bit sheepishly.] And usually one partner has to be dead already anyhow, but... there’s versions of yuukon practiced in a lot of different cultures. Maybe they have something similar here.
[She shifts so she can rest her head against his shoulder, breath light against his neck. They probably shouldn’t be making these promises anyhow, but the two of them have always seemed to have a particular sort of intensity to this relationship.] Either way... A promise can hold just as much weight and power.
[A moment’s pause] Can I.... tell you a little more about where I’m from? It’s not exactly nice, but...
[ At the question, Akashi leans back to make himself more comfortable in his seat. He strokes Miu's hair softly to encourage her, too. ]
I'd like to hear it.
[ He likes it when she talks about stuff. It's not a good kind of rambling this time when he'll likely hear some bad stories, but it's still getting to know her better. ]
[Where does she begin? She goes quiet for a few moments, just enjoying Akashi's touch.]
There's a mountain where a certain religion revolving around water cropped up. The water on the mountain was considered 'pure' and deified. The belief was that the water is life, and in death the soul must return there. People came to the mountain to "return" their souls to the mother that gave it to them, to "die a proper death".
People would come from all over to the mountain and meet one of the many priestesses who lived there. They'd choose one and go with them up on the mountain to... [She takes a breath.] To kill themselves. The priestesses' job was to watch them and be with them so they wouldn't be alone. They'd, uh... glance into the souls of the dying and take on their pain, their memories, their sins, to cleanse the souls so they'd go off to the afterlife without baggage.
Once a priestess had used their powers on too many people, they were sacrificed to maintain the purity of the water and keep the yomi--the 'black water' from the underworld--from overflowing.
[Miu goes quiet again, closing her eyes.] ...That's the same power I have. Seeing memories and things like that? But when I use it on spirits, I... live through their deaths and experience it all so their souls can move on.
[ Akashi listens, taking it all in. It's still rather confusing, and even more surreal. To think that they're so many worlds apart. To think that there's a world such as Miu's. ]
[She hesitates, just a second, in which she contemplates lying before she slumps a little and nods.]
...Yeah. I feel everything they did. When I was a kid it scared me pretty badly, but I just... grew more numb to it as I got older, I guess. I tried not to do it as much.
That does happen, [ Akashi's voice is soft, but not out of fondness. He thinks about how it must have felt. ] growing numb to pain as you get used to it.
[She shakes her head at the apology] It's fine. I used to-- Well, I didn't even really hate it. I didn't feel anything about it. But it helps them, I suppose, so...
I haven't had to do it much here at all, at least. [She says like it's a consolation, and maybe it sort of is.]
...I wanted you to know, though. I don't really want to keep things from you.
[ Miu's words strike something in Akashi, and now he feels pretty bad. He kind of feels that Miu would be disappointed if he spoke about it now, but he may as well tell her. ]
When I told you I met my father that night—rather, the night of the fog and the night I was bitten—I also saw my mother.
[ He grows quiet after that, just... just waiting to see what her reaction might be. If her reaction isn't so violent, he continues. ]
She was really angry to see me, as if she didn't want me to be her son anymore. I thought my world was going to end. I felt weak and insecure... [ Who knew he even knew what that word meant? ] That was when I got bitten. By her.
To this day, I'm not certain who it truly was, but now I know better that my mother wouldn't do something like that. It... It was still terrifying, though.
[She looks startled, but that's the extent of her reaction for that, waiting for him to continue.]
Seijuro-- I'm so sorry. [She's not angry that he didn't tell her, it must have been pretty terrifying after all, but she does wish he hadn't felt the need to keep it bottled up.
She reaches up to cup the side of his face, smoothing her thumb over his cheekbones.] Is there anything I can do...?
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...I told you before, didn't I? I'm really selfish. It's much easier to deal with loss when you don't have anything to lose. But I... I couldn't let you go if I tried. I'm sorry for worrying you. I don't want to leave you.
My head's all over the place...
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His mother telling him he's failure still hurts up to now, even if it's not true. When that happened, he thought that all he had was Miu, and for a moment just now, he felt that he really was going to lose her.
His shoulders are still tense when he looks at her as she holds him. ]
I'm not sure what to say. [ He really doesn't. His chest feels weird right now and his hands are shaking, so he balls them into fists. ]
... Please don't go, Hinasaki-san.
[ She already apologised but he can't help but ask this of her when the possibility of her leaving actually showed itself. He's never ever thought about it, but now, that it's brought itself on the table... well, it really can't be helped. ]
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I won't. [She doesn't want to leave. Doesn't want him to leave. But she hadn't wanted Kokichi to leave either, and that lack of agency and voice shakes her.] I don't want to lose you.
[If he ever left... No, she doesn't want to think about it now. She doesn't want to face that possibility, even as she tells herself too that ignoring it won't do her any good either.
She closes her eyes.] Ouma-kun was... like family to me. When I realized he wasn't coming back, I... I thought, 'I'll be all alone again.' I completely panicked and wanted to isolate myself completely, so I wouldn't have to be hurt anymore...
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It's basic instinct that makes his arms move and wrap themselves around Miu once again - both to balance her and both to hold her. He even pulls her close so he can feel her properly, and she'll notice how quick is pulses are. He's comforted, though, but that doesn't mean his fear's gone just yet. And it probably will be there for a while. Worry and anxiety don't exactly leave right away, after all. ]
I'm sorry. [ He says it again, this time with more meaning to it. He sympathises and empathises with the pain of losing someone, even if it's not death. Or perhaps it is, given that Ouma has nothing to go back to. And this time, it's he who kisses her. It's a reminder of what he told her at the Flower Festival. ] I'm sorry about Ouma, I truly am.
I promised you, though, that I wouldn't make you feel alone, didn't I? I swore to you... So if there's anything I can do. . .
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[Miu knows enough about tv shows and movies and common romance tropes to be aware that this is the kind of situation that usually leads to something a lot heavier than just cuddling on the couch. She breathes out slowly, tilting her head for another soft kiss]
This is enough. For right now... This is fine. I just need to know you're here. I want to-- I mean, can I... Can I stay here tonight? [He'd said he didn't want her to leave, but she just needs to make sure the extent of that]
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[ Finally, some words that actually come naturally. These are the words that feel so easy to say, compared to "please don't leave" and "I'm sorry". ]
If it's more comfortable, you can borrow one of my shirts to sleep in.
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[One of his shirts would probably be big enough on her to practically be a nightgown...] That means having to get up though. [She doesn't wanna!! Her tone is light though, mostly joking in her attempts to lighten the situation some]
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Then don't. [ It's said softly, almost like a whisper. Part of it humouring her, part of it almost like a command, actually. ] Don't leave.
And we'll stay here for as long as you'd like.
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I knew coming here was a good idea. Akashi-kun-- [A pause. Her voice lowers to a whisper] Seijuro. [His first name now, no honorifics or anything and the intimacy of it makes her shiver.]
Seijuro... [Her heart pounds, but the threat of losing him without warning spurs her on and despite her nervousness she takes a breath and continues] I love you.
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We still have to cross over together, don't we?
[ He actually means every word, and he says it not just because they're beautiful words. This world is magical and he's learned some Dunamis. If he exerts more effort into learning magic, he can find a way--at least, that's what he believes.
One arm remains wrapped around her, but the other moves to cup her cheek so he can properly kiss her. Compared to the quick kiss that she gave him earlier, Akashi's kiss to her is deep and full of emotion, but it's not a lengthy kiss or anything.
When he pulls away, he can't help but kiss her again, a short and sweet one this time. The lights around them begin to change to warmer colours, even dimming more until it's just the light from Akashi's crystal (which he keeps hidden under his shirt) that's glowing a bright Piphron-y blue. ]
I love you, too. [ A beat. ] Miu-san.
[ He's never said those three words before. ]
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Embarrassing. But she doesn't mind, smiling widely.] You called me by name too. I love you, I love you-- Haha. I could say it over and over again.
[Her hand reaches up to place over his hand, pulling it away so she can link their fingers together.] ...Do you mean it? About crossing over with me.
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...Where I'm from, there's a ritual called yuukon, or 'ghost marriage.' Originally it was used for a... slightly darker reason, but the main purpose still stands. It's about tying two souls together so they can be together in the afterlife.
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[ Especially if it's something from her home? He's not sure, really. ]
Is it?
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[She shifts so she can rest her head against his shoulder, breath light against his neck. They probably shouldn’t be making these promises anyhow, but the two of them have always seemed to have a particular sort of intensity to this relationship.] Either way... A promise can hold just as much weight and power.
[A moment’s pause] Can I.... tell you a little more about where I’m from? It’s not exactly nice, but...
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I'd like to hear it.
[ He likes it when she talks about stuff. It's not a good kind of rambling this time when he'll likely hear some bad stories, but it's still getting to know her better. ]
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There's a mountain where a certain religion revolving around water cropped up. The water on the mountain was considered 'pure' and deified. The belief was that the water is life, and in death the soul must return there. People came to the mountain to "return" their souls to the mother that gave it to them, to "die a proper death".
People would come from all over to the mountain and meet one of the many priestesses who lived there. They'd choose one and go with them up on the mountain to... [She takes a breath.] To kill themselves. The priestesses' job was to watch them and be with them so they wouldn't be alone. They'd, uh... glance into the souls of the dying and take on their pain, their memories, their sins, to cleanse the souls so they'd go off to the afterlife without baggage.
Once a priestess had used their powers on too many people, they were sacrificed to maintain the purity of the water and keep the yomi--the 'black water' from the underworld--from overflowing.
[Miu goes quiet again, closing her eyes.] ...That's the same power I have. Seeing memories and things like that? But when I use it on spirits, I... live through their deaths and experience it all so their souls can move on.
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Do you feel pain when you do?
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...Yeah. I feel everything they did. When I was a kid it scared me pretty badly, but I just... grew more numb to it as I got older, I guess. I tried not to do it as much.
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I'm sorry.
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I haven't had to do it much here at all, at least. [She says like it's a consolation, and maybe it sort of is.]
...I wanted you to know, though. I don't really want to keep things from you.
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[ Miu's words strike something in Akashi, and now he feels pretty bad. He kind of feels that Miu would be disappointed if he spoke about it now, but he may as well tell her. ]
Can I also tell you something?
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Of course. Anything.
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[ He grows quiet after that, just... just waiting to see what her reaction might be. If her reaction isn't so violent, he continues. ]
She was really angry to see me, as if she didn't want me to be her son anymore. I thought my world was going to end. I felt weak and insecure... [ Who knew he even knew what that word meant? ] That was when I got bitten. By her.
To this day, I'm not certain who it truly was, but now I know better that my mother wouldn't do something like that. It... It was still terrifying, though.
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Seijuro-- I'm so sorry. [She's not angry that he didn't tell her, it must have been pretty terrifying after all, but she does wish he hadn't felt the need to keep it bottled up.
She reaches up to cup the side of his face, smoothing her thumb over his cheekbones.] Is there anything I can do...?
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throws up a general warning for sexual content now before i forget
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